Showing posts with label my life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label my life. Show all posts

Sunday, August 01, 2021

Bill George:Red Hot Planet and Beyond Pt 4.

So anyhoo, Baltimore Flavor Magazine, another one of Bill George's money making schemes, not only set him back about fifteen grand, but as I write this, boxes of the magazine can be found in the basement of his home never to see the light of day. The shitty part is: not only did I not get paid for my work, but once again that total control freak George rewrote all of my articles. As I read each issue of his vanity mag, it was extremely difficult to control myself; I really wanted to punch his weenie face for treating me with such flagrant disrespect.

 Bill George has little or no respect for me and has never considered me his equal when it comes to the art of writing. That pompous, self congratulating asshole! His next big attempt at the ever elusive fame and fortune was to help finance a micro budgeted, shot on video turd fest titled Hallows Point. He has vehemently denied investing in this unreleased(or is it unreleasable?)clunker made by an obscure filmmaker named Jeffrey Lynn Ward. George claimed that they gave him the title of executive producer because he was such a big help on the production.


 Yeah. Right. Anybody with even a cursory knowledge of film knows that the executive producer is the one who ponies up the dough to finance a movie. In this instance, it was three misguided cretins who threw their money at Ward's amateur night excuse for a film. George once again tried to cover his ass, so he doesn't come off looking like some doofus who foolishly squandered his money on another loser of a project. But he did. If I didn't have such contempt for George, I'd feel sorry for him. 

George even went that extra mile by going on several horror websites and horror conventions touting Hallows Point as a great film that was destined to be the next big horror movie. On one website, George (under the pseudonym BGeorge238)claimed that " I'll bet the farm this film prompts a franchise." Now, how in the hell can a film prompt a franchise when the first one hasn't been released. It was completed in 2007 and here it is in 2010 and still no takers. But you can't blame George for using such aggressive campaign tactics, he wants to make his investment back!

 A couple of years ago when I talked to George, he was animated about his newest project:3D television. He and a group of people were going to shoot films locally, then show them on television using this new and radical 3D process. To me this was just one more lofty pipe dream for him to foolishly toss his money at, in his eyes it was the wave of the future; the opportunity of a lifetime. You see, Bill George is a dreamer. His dreams are as big and as grand as they come. Dreams that will bring him riches, that will bring him fame. The only problem is, they're never grounded in reality. And that's a big problem. But on the bright side, he has several tax write offs at his disposal. 


 As an addendum: two years after discontinuing Red Hot Planet, George told me he was thinking about restarting the web site. Imagine the egotism of that dick! Doesn't he realize that once you break the momentum of something, it's hard, if not impossible, to regain that momentum? Oh no, not Bill George. In his special, delusional, little world, there are tons of folks who are patiently waiting(with baited breath, of course)for the return of their favorite horror web site. Is he an ego surfeited asshole or what?

Bill George: Red Hot Planet And Beyond. Part II.




It was during my unpaid tenure at Red Hot Planet that another one of Bill Georges annoying traits reared it's ugly head; he is an unbridled control freak. George thinks he's God's gift to the auctorial arts, his talent as a writer is unparalleled and that there are few writers of his caliber. In his conceited mind, George considers himself to be The Gold Standard when it comes to writing. More like fools gold if you ask me. His is a stuffy, pompous, pseudo professorial writing style that looks down at the reader while at the same time pretending to be one with them.

 He once bragged to me that he never writes without consulting his Thesaurus. How pompous! What a pretentious fop! A Thesaurus is an aid for a writer, not a f***ing crutch! Big words are meant to add color or heft to a writers work, you don't write the article or book around the big word or the fancy phrase, that's both pretentious and insulting to the reader. Bill George doesn't care because he is on a mission to intellectually impress you and everyone else he meets. Unlike his parents, who spoke like the regular working class people they were, George speaks with the cadence of a highly educated man with a doctorate of some sort. Nah. He has a liberal arts degree which in some cases isn't worth the sheep skin it's printed on.

 I know of what I speak because in the late 1970's, I had a friend who graduated with a liberal arts degree. The reason for this decision was actually kind of stupid; a guitar player in one of his favorite bands, Hot Tuna, had a liberal arts degree, so he thought getting a liberal arts degree was a good idea. See? I told you it was kind of stupid. Anyhoo, following graduation my friend found it extremely hard to get a job with his measly degree. One company executive told him that as far as he was concerned, a liberal arts degree meant four more years of high school. Eventually, he did land a good paying gig, but the company ended up sending him back to school to add to his rather flimsy college education.

 Now in George's case the soup thickens; his liberal arts degree is in screen writing. Yeah, there sure is a lot of demand for screen writers in Baltimore, Maryland. Is Bill George an arrogant dick or what? Because of George's penchant for rewiring my work and then having the balls to tell me I should be grateful for his improvements, I began referring to him as The Bard Of Baltimore. (Just as an aside: I didn't know until a year or two ago that this appellation was actually given to that writer/genius Edgar Allen Poe. I used it as an derisive insult to self proclaimed genius Bill George, a self impressed prick if ever there is one.) I even went on several IMDb message boards to disown any of my interviews that George saw fit to completely rewrite using that special auctorial magic only he, that Wizard of Words, can provide. I felt that George treated me like a talentless hack, whose sole talent was the ability to turn the tape recorder on and off  during an interview.

 However, at one point I won a small victory: after one of our arguments, George went to one of his friends as well as The Red Hot Planet's webmaster JB, showed them my article and asked," Isn't this terrible? Doesn't it need rewriting?" They both replied," There's nothing wrong with his article, it's his style." I would have enjoyed being a fly on the wall for that: imagine the look on Bill Georges face, egg splattered all over, as his delusions of superiority were dashed before his eyes. It felt really good to win for once and have George put in his place, if only temporarily. To be contined..... I ain't done yet.

Wednesday, June 08, 2011

Another Nail In The Coffin of My Pathetic Love Life.

The picture on your immediate left is the place where my pitiful excuse of a love life resides. I visit there often to remind myself that no matter how hard I try, the elusive relationship I  desire is so far out of reach.

Perhaps my instincts are off kilter when it comes to women. Not just slightly off kilter mind you,but completely out of whack and in need of serious realignment. Recently I had met a women who I thought liked me as much as I did her, but instead I ended up getting the shit end of the stick. You know,business as usual for me.

Case in point: two weeks ago at the casino where work I met a female patron named Lynn to whom I felt an immediate and powerful attraction.I took one look into her soulful, brown eyes and knew I had to get to know her better. So, we discussed getting together for a cup of coffee and she gave me her number.

A few days later we talked on the phone and I became even further infatuated with Lynn; we talked about art and music during our long phone conversation. Lynn was articulate,bright and has(or supposedly has) two law degrees. We even attended the same high school;talk about co-incidence! Lynn said she found me fascinating as well. As far as I was concerned this girl was the total package: brains and looks. We decided to change our date from simply coffee and conversation to dinner and conversation to get to know each other better.

Then on Sunday I got a call from Lynn( I was home sick with a vicious head cold) who asked if we could change our date from Thursday to Friday. I agreed and she said to call her on Tuesday so we could talk some more. In the back of my mind however, something didn't seem quite right. In my past experience with women, when a women makes those kind of changes it usually means she's having second thought about going out with me.

I started suspecting that Lynn might cancel on Friday as well. I don't know why but I can sense these things. Anyway, I called her on Tuesday and got her answering machine. Again I felt something wasn't quite right. Well, I was right! When I came home from work the next day, there was a message from Lynn saying that she changed her mind about going out with me. She cobbled up some half assed excuse( I've heard this speech so many times before that I could have recited it along with her.) that I listened to for few seconds before hitting the erase button on my phone. If that miserable c**t expects me to feast on her banquet of bullshit,she has another thing coming. I may be many things, but being stupid is not one of them. I saw this coming from a mile away.

Then to simply leave a "not interested" message on my answering machine instead of talking to me personally shows cowardice on her part; not an attractive trait. As far as I'm concerned, her mealy mouthed speech was just an excuse and a feeble one at that. Proof positive the attraction was never a two way thing. I was in it by myself. Lynn either didn't like my looks or thought I was too short or whatever. So f**k her. It's on to the next one; whenever that magical day occurs.

It's my belief that Lynn called me on Sunday not knowing I was home sick and it was her intention to leave a "kiss off" speech on my answering machine at that time. When I answered the phone she then pretended to change the day of our date, preferring to dump me when she wouldn't have to deal with me person to person. One of the things I despise is a cowardly person; someone without character. Lynn is that type of person.

In closing, there is one nagging question I have about her: if Lynn really has two law degrees why is she unemployed? The legal field is always looking for people to fill key positions and yet she lives in her parents house without a job. Curious indeed.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Digital Journal Fired Me. Big Deal!

Today I received an interesting email from Digital Journal's editor, David Silverberg. He stated that my articles would no longer be accepted because of formatting problems, and his staff having to constantly correct my grammar.

Of course, this is a huge hit to my ego as a writer, but it seems strange that all of the sudden this has become an issue. Especially since I've written articles for his web site since 2007. But let me take some time to dispel a few of Siverberg's myths about the quality of my writing.

As for my formatting errors: yes a few of my articles do have them,but most of them don't. I tried to contact Silverberg about this problem and the fact is that I changed my email address over a year ago and never received a reply from him. How can I fix a problem when no one provides me with a solution? I spent a lot of time trying to remedy this and,lo and behold,I finally got it right with no help what so ever from that arrogant dick Silverberg.

As for my grammar: I never received any complaints from him or anyone on his staff until I had he unmitigated gall to ask him why I received no increase in payment for two articles that received, between the two articles, 4 "like it's" from their readers. At Digital Journal, if their readers rate an article with a "like it" vote the writer gets a certain amount of money. It's not a lot of money;in fact it's a pretty paltry sum considering the 28 articles I've contributed over the past three years.

So Davey boy, if there were any concerns why wasn't I ever contacted? Oh,that's right,I was unable for over a year to change my email address and your lame ass never contacted me. Talk about an inability to communicate! And you have the nerve to give me f**king attitude? And then,when you finally fix my email address, you fire me from your poorly paying website? Go pack sand up your ass,dildo face!

Hey Davey, if my writing was not up to your lofty standards why did you praise my article about Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton saying it" stood out for it's strong opinion and quality writing". Oh, and here's another example: you stated(your words,not mine) about my review of PIRATES 3: STAGNETTI'S REVENGE " :" Joe Vannicola gave a PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN-themed skin flick the Ebert treatment with a well written review". So now my writing sucks. No, my writing sucks because I had the nerve to ask you about payment for my articles,you smug,smarmy asshole of the highest order.

And as for his staff having to correct my supposedly bad grammar, my introductions to part one and part two of my interview with actor Dan Butler were rewritten with no explanation as to the reason why. I've never had anything else rewritten in all the time I've been with Digital Journal, so why all of the sudden was there a problem? What say you, Davey boy?

I noticed when you sent me a "you're fired" email, you made sure I couldn't reply back to you. What the matter, Davey? Are you such a gutless,yellow little coward you were afraid of what I'd say? Or that it might hurt your tender feelings? Maybe you're afraid I'll drive up to Canada and stick my foot so far up your candy ass that when you open your mouth my shoe falls out? Nah,your mangy assed,pompous self isn't worth the effort. However,if this is true you should buy yourself a pair of balls for Christmas. Or in your case, Hanuka. You should even think about going back to school to learn how to properly communicate with people. And one more thing David Siverberg, you suck!


Addendum: I just had a thought. Since Digital Journal is on Face Book, shouldn't it be renamed Dildo Face Book in honor of David"Dildo Face"Silverberg.? I think it's a keeper.lol

Tuesday, June 08, 2010

Bill George: Red Hot Planet And Beyond. Part III.





After spending two years working on his web site Red Hot Planet, Bill George simply ended it without any sort of explanation. Which was unfathomable to my mind because of all the time and money George lavished on a project he truly believed would bring him the money and the fame he's been chasing in vain for over thirty years. The main disappointment for me was that the money I supposed to receive for my hard work was never to find it's way into my bank account.

Now, you're probably asking yourself, "Why did Bill shelve this potentially successful website all of the sudden?" My explanation is blunt and to the point: Bill George became bored with Red Hot Planet and shoved it aside in order to pursue another pipe dream, um, I mean project. This has been a pattern for as long as I've know the putz: start something, grow tired of it and move on.

The arm chair psychologist in me thinks that deep down, George is afraid of success and when something he's involved in starts to gel or come to fruition, he quickly drops it and then develops something new to devote his money and energy on until the new project looks like it'll become successful; then the vicious cycle repeats itself. Or to be succinct: George does everything half assed because he's a half assed excuse for a human being. Oh well, I think it's as good an explanation as any.

Bill Georges next great idea was to publish a magazine which combined sports and women called Baltimore Flavor Magazine. First flaw: Bill George is one the least likely people you'll ever meet to be involved in any sport. Unless sitting at a computer for hours on end ever becomes one, then he 'll be able to enter The National Nerd Olympics. George can't even muster up enough physical energy to mow his own lawn; he hires someone else to do it for him. What a lazy f**k!

Yet, he felt eminently qualified to publish a sports magazine. Okay then. Whatever. Now here comes another fly into the ointment: the women interviewed and featured in Baltimore Flavor were currently starring in an up and coming low budget horror films. One issue(there were three in total)had an article on two bit filmmaker Rolfe Kanefsky and even had a two page pictorial of Kanefsky looking very much the director on the set of his latest tinker toy epic. Now, why would anyone with a tinge of common sense publish a two page photo of an overweight director wearing a baseball cap in a sports and women magazine? Now it had morphed into a sports, women and horror movie magazine.

When I did my interviews, Bill insisted I ask each actress what her favorite sport was in order to justify her inclusion in a sports magazine. I liken it to publishing a magazine about cats and then interviewing monster truck owners while during the interview asking them if they owned a cat. George sincerely believed such editorial decisions would insure that his wonderful magazine flew off the shelves . The only way that would ever happen is if the magazine stand is outdoors and gets broadsided by a wind storm.

Welcome to Bill George's special little world, a place where his ideas are so original, so radically unique that everyone will excitedly jump on his latest bandwagon and embrace his dream without hesitation. This is how egotistical and arrogant the prick is; you'll love his idea because he thought of it.

Now here's the topper: He decided to distribute the first issue gratis without advertising. What? How was he going to make any money on this venture? This is where George's peculiar brand of logic comes into play; the following issues would contain ads and then the reader would be charged. As you can see, George thought his latest brainstorm, more like a light drizzle if you ask me,was going to be highly profitable.

Well, the second and the third issue had no advertising either and for reason unknown, all three issues, contained in large boxes, ended up in his basement undistributed . Now if you do the math, each run of the magazine costs about five grand. So, George has approximately $15,000 worth of paper rotting in some dank corner not generating any money. Great business acumen, huh? Don't expect to see his picture on the cover of Entrepreneur magazine anytime in the near future, or ever for that matter.

However, all is not lost; if George ever runs out of toilet paper, he has boxes of it in his basement and it's called Baltimore Flavor Magazine. It's expensive toilet paper to be sure, but at least it'll end up serving some useful purpose.


To be continued....the final installment.(Whew)

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Bill George: Red Hot Planet And Beyond.



There comes a time when you have to cut a so called friend loose. Especially one who lies to your face constantly and yet,when you later confront him with the the truth, thinks this particular trait makes him cute and endearing; part of his charm. The kind of person who'll stick a knife in your back and then justify his actions without conscience.


I'm talking about Bill George, a world class liar who presents himself to the world at large as a successful writer and agent. In reality, he is dreamer and a loser whose grandiose ideas have a way of ending up as permanent residents on the Boulevard of Broken Dreams. And George has been dancing this fandango of failure for over thirty years while I've occupied a front row seat, witnessing his various schemes and endeavors eventually crash down around him . Ignoring the previous train wreck, and not learning a damn thing from it, he simply picks himself up, dusts himself off and it's on to the next big idea.

But no matter how many failed ventures George has involved himself in, he keeps pushing on hoping that one of his starry eyed dreams comes to fruition and makes him both rich and successful. Unfortunately, he is neither. He lives in a modest home left to him by his parents and,seeing as how he doesn't hold down a full time job, probably lives off of money that he inherited. His mother once told me," He has stars in his eyes." While I'm sure there have been those in his life who have attempted to bring Little Billy back down to earth, he sees things as he wants to see them; not as they are. George is like the eponymous character in The Beatles song Nowhere Man,only he's despicable rather than pitiable.

When I first met George over thirty years ago, at first glance I was impressed as I overheard him on the telephone discussing various film and book deals with supposed movers and shakers in the entertainment industry. Eventually, I came to discover George made these Pie In The Sky deals with people of his similar ilk; fellow dreamers who talked big, but couldn't deliver;much like George himself. Hell,they couldn't deliver a quart of milk if they owned a dairy truck.

Now to be fair, George actually is an agent. However, he's not as well connected in the film industry or as high powered as he presents himself to his clients who just happen to be young, pretty women with little or no acting experience what so ever. George is in reality a bottom feeder;a tiny,microscopic,insignificant amoeba who'll get his trusting clients parts in micro budget,straight to video turd fests that will do zip,zilch nada,squat for their careers. After these poor schmoes figure out this little fact of life, they kick George to the curb. Unfazed, he simply goes out and finds some other starry eyed dreamer who'll buy his line of bullshit hook, line and sinker.

When I punt kicked this sleazy, smarmy little dick out of my life in 1993 after hanging me out to dry(I had written an article for a French magazine and never received payment for it)I had no intention of ever seeing him again. However, my mother died in 1999 and when I found out that George's mother had died a few years later, I empathised with the emotions he was going through and feeling that my friend needed me, I reconnected with him. I found out, much to my eventual disappointment, that George remained a backstabbing,lying,scheming creep who hadn't changed one iota. He was still smarming and sleazing his way through life,using people in order to achieve his grand and lofty dreams of fame and fortune.

The ironic thing is, George once complained to me that he was losing his friends and couldn't fathom the reason for their departure. Surely it can't be anything he's done. He's so honest, dependable and truthful. Yeah, and I just won the Powerball! If integrity was money, George wouldn't have enough to buy a gumball.

In 2004, I began working on Bill George's web site Red Hot Planet. And so began two years of being rewritten without my permission, having to fight George tooth and nail to leave my articles alone,being promised payment for my work and yet not seeing one damn penny, in addition to other equally shitty deals that went down during that period. All engineered by that ego maniacal piece of shit Bill George.


To be continued.....

Monday, July 17, 2006

Time For A Change. ( A Writers Lament.)




For that last two years I've been a contributor to the website Red Hot Planet. And I have had to put up with more than my fair share of idiotic horseshit. To put it bluntly,not only has there been a lack of any financial remuneration, but I've had my hard work extensively rewritten to the point of my particular writing style being completely eviscerated. And then,on top of that to be told I should be grateful for his improvements to my submissions.

But, let's start from the beginning: I first met Bill George in 1977 when he sold movie memorabilia from his parents home in Baltimore. Every few months I would make the trek from Delaware to Maryland to buy posters, stills, 16mm tv spots and other movie collectibles from him.During my formative years as a collector, Bill was a major source for my purchases.

It was in 1983 that Bill enlisted my help in a book he was writing called EROTICISM IN THE FANTASY CINEMA. I interviewed actresses Victoria Vetri(also a former Playmate of The Year), PJ Soles and Angelique Pettyjohn. I was paid with movie memorabilia instead of cash,something my then wife was not very happy about, but Bill painted a rosy, pie in the sky picture claiming this would be great exposure for me and that next time I would see money!

But the big fly in the ointment for me was: when the book came out my name was dumped inthe acknowledgement section where you put the names of people lent a still or a movie ad for illustration purposes.This did not sit with me at all because I provided three interviews and as such rated a byline beside the interviews.Bill gave some sort of bullshit rational which I have long since forgotten, but promised (he's a past master at making empty promises)that I would get full credit on his next book called DRIVE-IN MADNESS.

Here's a fun fact: Bill wasn't entirely sure some of the actresses I contacted would want to be featured in a book titled DRIVE-IN MADNESS, so he instructed me to tell them that the book would be titled: CHEESECAKE:BEAUTIFUL WOMEN. I wondered about the ramifications when the book was published and these actresses got a gander of the real title,which was a far cry from the one I had described to them. But Bill never thinks about such negative aspects,he's too busy chasing his dreams no matter whose toes he steps on during said chase.

To make a long story short,due to publication delays(engineered by The Imagine Publishing Company)the book never saw the light of day. Now for me this was a crushing blow because I had five complete interviews which also featured my byline next to them. This could have been a big stepping stone for me,but I guess it just wasn't meant to happen.(I tell myself that when I'm waxing philosophically.)

For some odd reason, Bill was always working for foreign horror movie magazines who paid in posters instead of money. I had an interview published in a French magazine called Mad Movies and when I received a package of stills and posters in the mail as opposed to a check, my wife was not exactly jumping up and down for joy. She always thought that Bill was more talk than action and felt I was wasting my time dealing with him. But I naively kept going down this path because I thought that Bill probably knew what he was doing. Little did I know he was flying as blindly as myself,but Bill had a talent for convincing me (as well as others ) that he knew more than he actually did.

It was in 1993 that we had a big falling out. He sent an interview I did with Producer Sam Sherman that was originally to be used in DRIVE-IN MADNESS to a French publication L'CRAN FANTASTIQUE and once again swore that I would be paid monetarily and not with a pile of paper memorabilia. Again, I put my trust in Bill(or as I've come to regard him: Three Dollar Bill ) It was at this period of his life he became editor of an American magazine(What happened? Did Bill finally run out of foreign magazines to work for?) called FEMME FATALES. He also developed quite an ego, because when I asked him to send me a copy of L'CRAN FANTASTIQUE, Bill said he was too busy and I should write to them to get it. I pestered him for a couple of weeks before he grudgingly sent one to me in the mail.

Then I waited for my payment. And waited. And waited some more till I started getting rather peeved about not receiving any financial compensation for my interview. When I called Bill, he once again stated that he was much too busy with his magazine to help me out and told me to write to the French publication myself.

Now wait a damn minute, he's the person I sent the interview to who in turn sent it out the people at L'CRAN FANTASTIQUE. Bill communicated with them,not me. So it was his responsibilty to see I got the money due to me. But, God forbid, he was too engrossed with his new pet project to give an ounch of shit about me and my problems. You see, I was in the fiscal shithouse and needed the money very badly. I ended up writing to the French people and requesting payment for my work. And if you think I ended up with a check for my endeavors, you'll also believe that the Easter Bunny visits my house every April and supplies me with endless amounts of candy. For Bill to hang me out to dry like that was unconscionable. As my friend, Bill was supposed to watch my back,not stab me in it. I felt as if he'd turned his back on me and it sucked.

I broke off contact with him for about eight years. I saw him a couple of times at some horror film conventions but kept my distance because I was still in a state of rage about the dirty deal that had been done to me and knew if I had the opportunity I'd do something he'd end up being sorry for. My anger reached a level when at one convention, in 1998, I saw him out of the corner of my eye and thought he was heading for the mens room. All I could think of was how I'd gotten ripped off as he stood on the sidelines doing zip,zilch,nada, nothing. I felt it was about time Bill got some payback, so I went in the mens room to confront him. Thankfully, he wasn't there .

But still, I was anxious to extract my pound of flesh and was extremely disappointed I wouldn't be collecting it on that day. So I spent four more years stewing in my own juices while hating Bill George, fervently wishing I could shove my foot so far up his ass, it would've taken every person who lived on his street to remove it. Or barring that, perhaps major surgery.

Anyhoo, sometimes it takes a tragedy to soften ones point of view. Bill's mother died in 2001 after a bout with cancer. When I heard about her death, that Bill was having a difficult time coping with it , I called him up because my own mother died in 1999 and I knew exactly the sort of hell he was going through. Besides, eight years had passed. I was never going to receive any money for my interview; that was ancient history. But most importantly, a friend needed my help.

So we renewed our friendship. I must admit that I like Bill. True, he has a tendency to lie or at least exaggerate. And he's not the most giving human being I've ever come across. In other words, there are times he'll do something for me but only if it benefits him. But still, he's a charming, sometimes helpless kind of a guy and one cannot help but like him.

But then in 2004, along came Red Hot Planet where egos and creative differences began rearing their ugly head once again. Bill asked me if I would do interviews for the website. This time was going to be different, I would definitely see payment and I'd be paid by the end of 2004. The trouble started when my interviews, both introductions and questions were completely rewritten without my consent. When people who had read my contributions would complement me on them, I'd be honest and say that the interviews were not mine,that they had be rewritten. I refuse to take credit for something that isn't mine. One time Bill rewrote a question I asked of an actress who was on an episode of CHARMED to read, " Did you have a blast with the cast?" Now, I would never in a million years ask such an asinine question. That's the kind of question a twenty five year old would ask, not a guy in his late forties. From there it only got worse.

When director Irvin Yeaworth (THE BLOB, THE 4D MAN and DINOSAURUS ) died, I submitted an interview I'd done with him in 1988. Bill rewrote my introduction even though he wasn't present at the interview and never met Yeaworth.Feeling angry, humiliated and heartsick over the mutilation of my work I emailed Bill and said I quit Red Hot Planet. I told him I felt my talent as a writer wasn't appreciated and that my function seemed to be limited to turning the tape recorder on and off. He emailed me back and pledged that things would change. They didn't.

The same thing happened over and over again. And I quit over and over again, and told my friends not to read the interviews because I didn't write them. Bill kept telling me I should be grateful that he improved my work,while I insisted no improvements were required. He even took one of my unaltered interviews to the webmaster(the sneaky little bastard) and showed it to him in hopes he would agree that my writing was in desperate need of Bill's special auctorial magic.He unfortunately has a puffed up,overrated opinion of his gifts as a writer. What a dick!

The webmaster ,J.B, told Bill that there was nothing wrong with my writing, that he was a control freak and should leave my interviews alone. I hoped this would be the turning point, but I still had to fight tooth and nail to keep my style from being buried by Bill's overdramatic, bombastic, didactic, purple prose.

As for the supposed pay date of 2004, it was pushed up to 2005 which was then changed to 2006. As of this day, July 19, 2006, I haven't seen one freakin' penny for my two years of hard work. And two free movie previews , free admission to two horror movie conventions and a handful of free dvd's from a video company is hardly proper compensation.

A few months ago, Bill pushed Red Hot Planet on the backburner, where it presently languishes in cyber limbo, to embark on a new endeavor: Local Flavor magazine. Again, he enlisted my participation.And as before,(this is really getting old and tired) I've been promised money. However, Bill has gone back to his old ways and is brazenly rewriting my material while telling me I should put up with the situation because that's how it goes down in the world of publishing . Following another heated argument, he has given me his word,as usual, that as of the 4th issue of Local Flavor magazine, he won't rewrite my interviews any more.

Here's how it's going to be from this day forward: if I open the 4th issue of Flavor and it's business as usual, I'm quitting. This time my proclamation is for real as well as being etched in stone. And no placating words,no lame explanations nor any more transparent promises will sway me. My writing style is something I will no longer compromise with . I put my own individual personality, my humor and my creativity into my writing. I told Bill if he feels my work is lackluster and not up to his epicurean standards, then let me go and get someone else who won't mind when The Bard of Baltimore performs his wizardry with words on their article. I truly believe that he is attempting to put me in my place and show me who the big boss is. But I steadfastly refuse to be treated as a monkey who operates a tape recorder.I think he should f**k off and leave my writing alone.

I've let Bill know that if Local Flavor magazine does not pay me by the end of this year, I'll no longer be working for free. I'm tired of busting my ass and receiving only a pat on the back and a heart felt ," Good job , Joe." Bill once told me that it shouldn't matter if I get paid, it's the idea of getting my name out there that matters. Uh, uh. I'm not playing that ridiculous,time wasting game anymore.

As far as Red Hot Planet is concerned, if and when Bill starts it up again I won't do any more interviews until he can present me with a clear and definite timetable of when and how much I'll be paid. He can get as mad at me as he wants. There'll be no more freebies from Joe. Either cough up the cash or thanks but no thanks. And if my decision negatively impacts our friendship, then it wasn't much of a friendship to begin with. It's time for me to take a stand.

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Prom Night 1973 - An Evening to Forget




A few years ago,there I was watching Howard Stern on television. I usually don't go out of my way to view Stern's program because there's nothing more pitiful than watching people willing to debase themselves on national television for their fifteen minutes,although I understand it's now been whittled down to fifteen seconds of fame. And Stern is the ring master; watching these folks make total asses of themselves as he laughs and pokes fun at them while millions of viewers laugh like a pack of hyenas along with him.

On this occasion, Stern was actually helping someone for a change. It seems this eighteen year old guy needed a date for his senior prom, so Stern made arrangements for him to escort a porno star named Houston to the affair. Now on the surface this seems highly unusual,but hey,the kid was the envy of the entire male population of his high school,not to mention his neighborhood. In addition,he got lucky that evening. Now,imagine bedding a voluptuous goddess on prom night.How great is that? Her porn star status not withstanding,of course.And as if the lucky bastard needed any more good fortune coming his way, he ended up living with her for eight months!

On my prom night I didn't get so much as a kiss. The evening,which most people remember as romantic and magical,was a stale,dull affair and was about as romantic as going to the prom with your first cousin whom you ended up taking because no one else was available . Anyhoo,as I watched this eighteen year old teenager lip locking with the stacked, blonde porno star, I thought to myself," Where was Howard Stern when I needed him?

You see, I was in a dilemma: my girlfriend Delores couldn't go with me to The Senior Prom because her father didn't like me. Well, he didn't mind me as much as he minded my appearance. I had long hair and equally long sideburns, so her father preferred she date a boy who was more clean cut .Too bad there were no Mormons living in the area.

My best friend Larry and the girl he was dating, Rosemary, heard about my plight and decided to fix me up with her friend Anita. Seeing as how I surely did not relish showing up stag at The Senior Prom, I readily agreed because Anita was considered a total fox by the male populace of St. Marks. Guys I knew and even total strangers would come up to me in the hallway to pat me on the back and call me a "Lucky dog". As you can imagine, this did wonders for my ego.

Then a short time later, Delores called to let me know that her father had relented and that she could go with me to the prom. This was definitely good news for me. However,when I told Larry and Rosemary about the change of plans they told me Anita had rented a gown and that I had to take her. I countered back that Delores was my girlfriend while I had spoken to Anita a total of three times. But they insisted, so I backed down and broke the bad news to Delores who was surprisingly understanding about the whole thing. Considering the lousy time I had,in hindsight I should have stuck to my guns and insisted on going with my girlfriend instead.

Though out this entire debacle, in the back of my mind I suspected that Rosemary and Anita were merely using the two of us as convenient escorts. Especially when it came to the supposed relationship between Larry and Rosemary. Larry felt that she was his girlfriend,but the way Rosemary acted towards him I really had my doubts. The defining moment for me was when Larry and I went to an outdoor rock concert at Rodney Square. He was going to meet her there and yet despite a rather lengthy search Larry never did find her. When we bumped into her friend Phyllis, she said that Rosemary didn't come to the concert.

One night,the three of us went over to New Jersey to a nightclub called The Crescendo. At that time,the drinking age in New Jersey was eighteen,so a horde of thirsty eighteen year old Delawareans descended upon the clubs in that area to imbibe vast quantities of alcoholic beverages before toddling drunkenly back to their home state. When Rosemary and I talked about the outdoor rock concert that she supposedly did not attend,she mentioned one of the bands and how good their rendition of Wars" Cisco Kid" was. It became clear Rosemary was there after all. Why she hid from him that day I'll never know.I suspected she was seeing someone else on the side, but I never told Larry(until many years later)because I knew this would completely crush him.

So I went through with the charade although I knew I wouldn't have a very good time. I wouldn't be slow dancing with my girlfriend at the prom and then at the end go to the beach to watch the sun come up. I'd be hanging out with a girl I barely knew and at the end,if we went to the beach, she would probably hang out with her friends while I sat on my hands wishing I were elsewhere.

During the fiasco I jokingly refer to as my senior prom, which was held at the elegant Mendenhall Inn, Rosemary and Anita told me while Larry was in the mens room that they were going to see if the two of them could score some pot. Rosemary asked me not to tell this to Larry because he'd disapprove. And with that they left me to sit at our table eating the remainder of my dinner.

The entire evening started to take on the makings of a tv sitcom. Larry came back from the restroom and asked where the girls were. I said they left to talk to some friends and he went to look for them;he wanted to make sure that our little group was together. Anita came back on two occasions and we danced to a couple of fast songs before she left to rejoin Rosemary in their quest for the sacred weed. Larry returned and asked if they had come back. I replied Anita did and left, but Rosemary hadn't. He once again went in search of the girls and I returned to stare at my empty plate.

It was at this juncture that I began thinking about the good time I was having. I looked from the table where I was sitting at out towards the courtyard and saw a couple slow dancing in the moonlight.That should've been me and Delores. This was supposed  be a wonderfully romantic evening with my girlfriend, not me sitting by my lonesome at a table waiting for Rosemary and Anita to do a drug deal while Larry wandered around the restaurant looking for them. Yeah, I was having a whole barrel of fun.

After the three wanderers finally returned,we went upstairs to get our pictures taken(did I really want any sort of reminder of this farce of an evening?). Across from the room where the photographer had his equipment set up was a refrigerator where the white wine was kept.The four of us found out that some of the other females were sneaking bottle of wine under their gowns,so we decided to do the same. As far as I was concerned this dreadful night needed all the help it could possibly get.

Our little quartet then decided to leave the restaurant and find some place to drink the purloined wine, then we'd go bowling. Why we ended up in bowling alley is something at this late date I simply cannot for the life of me fathom.I can imagine the looks on the other bowlers faces as they watched four people dressed to the nines in tuxedos and evening gowns throwing bowling balls as part of the evenings festivities.

Anyway, before leaving , I ran back to our table where the waiters were serving desert(a slice of ice cream covered with a halved peach) and gobbled it down. The way I figured it was, since I was having an incredibly lousy evening the least I deserved was desert. Although was all is said and done, I would have enjoyed it much more if the ice cream and peach treat had been eaten slowly, as opposed to being inhaled.

The following day Larry, Rosemary, Anita and myself hung out for a while before the lackluster affair came to a welcome end. I never saw Anita again after that and to be honest,if I never see her for the rest of my life I'll die a happy man. As for that sorry excuse for a senior prom,I sometimes think back on the dark,dank,sham of an evening,like once every ten years, and wish I'd stayed home. I would've saved money, plus there was probably something good on TV  that night.

Postscript: A year after graduation,I worked for a truck driving school putting up application standees in business's. On one of my travels I was in the same area where The Mendenhall Inn was located, so I stopped in to see if they'd allow me to place a standee in their establishment.The manager politely declined and while we were conversing,I mentioned that I went to St.Marks and that our school held it's prom there in 1973. The manager informed me that was the year many bottles of wine had been stolen from the upstairs refrigerator,so they stopped holding senior proms at their restaurant.

Saturday, April 01, 2006

The Barklays Badly Managed,Damn Near Bancrupt Bank Blues.



Poor Barklays Bank. By 1990 this formerly thriving financial institution was now drowning in a sea of red ink. In fact, the only place you would find more red ink is at your local Office Max. But the reason for this dilemma was clearly Barklays fault.

In the 1980's, Barklays Bank specialized in providing credit cards for clothing, stereo and department stores. The sales staff, always poised and positioned to earn the much desired commission, pushed through credit cards, giving them to people who never should have received cards in the first place. These cards were issued to the type of consumer who had neither the financial resources nor the desire to make good on their incurred debut. One department store actually issued a credit card to a self employed mime artist! I'm not kidding.

Now, Barklays overpaid executive managers should have seen these red flags from the jump and quickly nipped the problem in the bud, instead of letting years go by, letting bad credit card debt mount and doing nothing until it was too late. Which is exactly what they did. Either these executives were asleep at the switch or they naively hoped the problem would somehow iron itself out eventually. Yeah, and pigs fly!

By early 1990, Barklays Bank had one foot into chapter eleven and the other foot on a roller skate, so a solution needed to be found. It was decided that selling off their white elephant was the best way out of a terribly bad situation. But first, they needed to alleviate the overwhelming amount of delinquent accounts in order to make the bank appear to be more profitable to the potential buyer . To achieve this agenda , an aggressive campaign was mounted: Barklays Bank would use their existing staff of collectors and add to that fifty temp workers. With this method, they hoped to eliminate enough of the bad credit card debt making their failing thrift appear to be financially solvent. It was crunch time at Barclays Bank;the heat was on!

Now, here's where I come into the picture.It was December 1990;the recession was getting worse. The DuPont Company and Hercules Chemicals were laying people in Delaware off in alarming numbers. The jobless rate was so high that on the average there were fifty people applying for one job. Former high ranking executives were now scrambling around for whatever jobs they could latch onto.Temp agencies were packed with unemployed people looking for gainful(if temporary) employment.

One day, I noticed in the help wanted section of the paper an ad for credit card collectors through a temp agency. To be honest, at first I wasn't interested in working in collections.I considered debt collectors to be mean,heartless,relentless bastards hounding those who through no fault of their own were unable to pay the credit card company. But,unemployment doesn't pay all that much and since my job prospects seemed slim to none,working in collections suddenly didn't appear to be the monstrous profession I had previously thought it to be. The things we'll do to keep the wolf away from our door.

Anyway, the temp agency procured the position for me, so bright and early Monday morning there I was(along with ten others)being trained as a collector. We were informed the bank expected us to go on the phones after our training and collect ten thousand dollars a week. The trainer made this feat seem as easy as falling off the proverbial log. Following four days of training,we got cracking on Barklays delinquent accounts,attempting to meet the ten thousand dollar a week quota.

On my first week, I collected about twenty five hundred dollars. Not bad for just staring out of the gate,if I must say so. The second week, I pulled in five thousand dollars from the default accounts in my files. I thought, for someone who'd never done collections before, my performance was picking up momentum and that in a week or two I'd reach(and maybe exceed)the ten thousand dollar mark . But there were dark clouds on the horizon.

During one lunch break, a fellow employee came into the break room and told everyone he'd overheard a meeting where the head manager stated,in a voice bordering on hysteria,that the head honchos at Barkleys demanded that efforts to collect on past due accounts be stepped up. It seems they were on the verge of selling their crumbling financial institution and the delinquent accounts had to be purged even further to make their portfolio appear more attractive to the interested buyer. This was to be achieved by any means necessary or people were going to be fired.

At first, I thought this guy was gilding the lily,so to speak ,by making the situation more dramatic than it really was. Suddenly,as if on cue, everyone in the break room saw the board room door open and the managers filed out one by one; each of them scowling and ashen faced. There's nothing more foreboding that a group of scowling,ashen faced managers,let me tell you.

About an hour before quitting time, one of those managers asked all of us to log off of the phones because we were going to have a meeting. It was actually more of a lecture than a meeting. He shouted that we all had to step up our productivity,but wouldn't tell us the reason why. The lengthy harangue ended with," Everyone in here better start pulling in more money and it better start today!If not, we'll start cleaning house!" With that he slammed his fist against the wall,calmed down a bit and then left the room.

At the end of the third week, I'd collected seven thousand in past due debts. I was supremely confident that next week the ten thousand dollar goal was well within my grasp. Then, the hammer was dropped on me. That night, the temp service called me to say my assignment had been ended,that my performance was not up to par. Not up to par? I had never done collections in my life and here I was raking in seven grand in past due accounts.But they were going on a firing jag, getting rid of temps and even their full time employees with ruthless abandon, the coldblooded bastards. The managers were also on the chopping block as well;no one was being spared. The worst part of this was, I got fired two days before Christmas. Merry Christmas to me!

I never found out if Barklays Bank ever unloaded their unwanted white elephant on another bank or if they simply sank into the morass of delinquent credit card debt and were flushed down the sewer with all of the other mismanaged business's; a fate those creeps more than deserved. And frankly, I could've cared less. But on a plus note:while I worked there I did meet a delightful woman named Peg with whom I had a wonderful year long relationship. See? Every cloud does have a silver lining.