Thursday, March 01, 2007

Introducing Alexxus Young : The Next Queen of Hip Hop. Not!

Alexxus Young is among the many beautiful women in this world who believes that she is the next big star. I've met Alexxus(real name Chris) on a couple of occasions during my two year stint at the website Red Hot Planet and can honestly say except for her physical appearance, she didn't exactly make much of an impression on me. She came across as vain, self absorbed and very impressed with herself. I didn't particularly care for her type when I was younger and I find myself even less patient with women of her ilk at the age of 52.

Oh, she manages to earn a living doing local modeling jobs in Baltimore, but this rather narcissistic young lady considers herself a serious actress,despite never having taken an acting class and appearing in a handful in locally filmed, low budget movies. Some, which as I write this, remain in a state of cinematic limbo as they await a video distributor to release these micro budgeted, backyard epics to the public at large. But Alexxus ,with her feet firmly in the air, thinks of herself as a seasoned thespian who has mastered the craft of acting. Yeah. Sure. And I'm going to play guitar with Korn on their next world tour.

As far as her talent is concerned, I once heard Alexxus attempt an English accent and had to bite my tongue to keep from bluntly informing Little Miss No Talent that it was the worst sounding accent I've ever heard. Oh, she can't sing for shit,either. One time, I phoned editor Bill George and got his answering machine only to be treated to her tone deaf rendition of a Christmas song. For a moment,I thought a cow had wandered into Bill's office, turned on his answering machine and began mooing into it. Yes, she was that bad.

Alexxus(Chris) is another in a long, inexhaustible lines of wannabes. You know the type: I wannabe an actress. I wannabe a singer. I wannabe famous- it just goes on and on and on into infinity. Yet, she has nothing in which to back up her ambitions with. She's simply a beautiful woman without any real substance.

In yet another effort to showcase another of her talents(ahem!), Alexxus has recorded a hip hop single under the nom de plume of Mary Jane called (get a load of this) Pimpin' Aint EZ 4Shez. Alexxus is so immensely proud of this latest endevor she downloaded it on her website for her adoring fans to enjoy.

I listened out of curiosity and came to the immediate conclusion that it was fair to bursting with crappiness. Among the singles deficiencies(and oh boy are there plenty) : The song itself is by turns hackneyed, cliched and most importantly, ridiculous to the point of inducing snickers of derision from the real members of the hip hop community. Naturally, the f bomb is dropped gratuitously throughout.

Besides the grammatically incorrect title, Alexxus happens to be a white girl who hails from an affluent, middle class background. Her stab at musical fame as the first white queen of hip hop has a rather false ring to it. But from all appearances it seems that Alexxus is attempting to make a name for herself in the entertainment industry, despite having no apparent talent.

Hey Alexxus, here's an idea for you to mull over: find yourself a rich sugar daddy who will happily bankroll your various vanity projects. Oh,the critics will have a field day as they cheerfully roast and lambast your latest film, record or any other endeavor you try to foist upon an unsuspecting public as entertainment(remember Pia Zadora?). But on the other hand , you'll be in the public eye as the paparazzi snaps pictures of you incessantly. It's too bad that as far as the public is concerned, you'll never be considered a serious actress or a talented singer; instead you'll exist only as a celebrity content in having your little moment in the sun. And if truth be told, that's your ultimate goal, is it not?