Saw 3D: More Gore. More Sadism. More Of The Same.

I'm at a point in my life that when I see a horror film containing gore merely for shock value or to gross out the movie goer,this is the type of film that does not entertain me. Now before anyone thinks of me as the kind of person who favors G rated Disney films and "chick flicks", let me just say that I am a fan of George Romero's 'Night of The Living Dead' series. I also liked horror films such as 'Re-Animator', 'Don't Open The Window'(British title:'The Living Dead At Manchester Morgue') and 'The Texas Chain Saw Massacre' to name a few.

However, the horror films of today strive to out do one another when it comes to brutality and sadism. Forget the concept of mood or atmosphere; the horror film maker of the new millennium wants to sicken and disgust the audience to the point to where they almost throw up their popcorn. Sadly enough, some of today's movie goers would probably consider vomiting up their concession snack during the movie(and expensive snacks at that) as "audience participation".

Which brings me to 'Saw 3D', the sixth installment in the Saw franchise. This film is so relentlessly bloody, so over the top in it's savagery that there were a couple of times I was sorely tempted to leave the theatre. My reason for staying was purely a financial one; I payed $12.00 bucks to see it and I wanted to get my money's worth, no matter how repellent I found this movie to be. What I wanted is to be scared.What I got instead is an exercise in sadism and dismemberment. This,alas,is today's horror movie.

The plot revolves around a survivor of Jigsaw, Bobby Dagen, who has written a book about his experiences. Dagen has created a support group of fellow survivors, but he has a secret: Dagen was never a victim of the dreaded Jigsaw. He capitalizes on the real victims ordeal in order to advance his career as a successful self-help guru. Meanwhile, an ex-detective named Hoffman is kidnapping and torturing victims for his own reasons using Jigsaw's time tested methods.

As in the previous six 'Saw' outings, the plot has more twists and turns than a mountain road,but by now the film seems to be convoluted just for the sake of  being convoluted. I know, I know; the series is supposed to be like a jigsaw puzzle, but by now the plot lines are bordering on the ridiculous, the incredulous and this is a blatant insult to the audience's intelligence.

You can almost sense the filmmakers desperation, because for this sequel the use of 3d is employed as blood, entrails and body parts are splattered in the direction of the viewer in an unflinching manner. Yes, this is thought of by today's hip purveyor's of horror films as entertainment. Perhaps for some but not for me. I want,no demand, outdated elements in a horror film such as suspense and atmosphere. Let my imagination create the horror and the dread that a talented filmmaker can allow me to do. Don't just shove sadism, cruelty and gallons of gore down my throat and expect me to find it frightening.

The dumbest scene in the film is when Hoffman goes to the jail where Saw's wife is being held, intent on killing her(you'd have to have seen 'Saw IV to know the reason why. I didn't). He single handedly murders everyone who gets in his way before offing her. I was amazed,if that's the proper word to use,that the police station was so sparsely populated that Hoffman could achieve this act with relative ease. Once again the filmmakers tried to insult the audiences intelligence. I myself could not believe how moronic this scene was and once again almost left the theatre. But I stayed. You could say I was a glutton for punishment.

But I can honestly say, without reservation, that I won't be seeing anymore 'Saw' sequels. This series no longer appeals to me and I don't wish to witness endless scenes of unrelenting carnage while being told by the filmmakers that this is what horror movie fans like myself want to see. The problem with the 'Saw' franchise is that by now it has become rather long in the tooth, bereft of fresh ideas. Let's hope they and Lions Gate get the hint and pull the plug on this tired, thread bare series before the next installment ends up playing to mostly empty theatres.

Digital Journal Fired Me. Big Deal!

Today I received an interesting email from Digital Journal's editor, David Silverberg. He stated that my articles would no longer be accepted because of formatting problems, and his staff having to constantly correct my grammar.

Of course, this is a huge hit to my ego as a writer, but it seems strange that all of the sudden this has become an issue. Especially since I've written articles for his web site since 2007. But let me take some time to dispel a few of Siverberg's myths about the quality of my writing.

As for my formatting errors: yes a few of my articles do have them,but most of them don't. I tried to contact Silverberg about this problem and the fact is that I changed my email address over a year ago and never received a reply from him. How can I fix a problem when no one provides me with a solution? I spent a lot of time trying to remedy this and,lo and behold,I finally got it right with no help what so ever from that arrogant dick Silverberg.

As for my grammar: I never received any complaints from him or anyone on his staff until I had he unmitigated gall to ask him why I received no increase in payment for two articles that received, between the two articles, 4 "like it's" from their readers. At Digital Journal, if their readers rate an article with a "like it" vote the writer gets a certain amount of money. It's not a lot of money;in fact it's a pretty paltry sum considering the 28 articles I've contributed over the past three years.

So Davey boy, if there were any concerns why wasn't I ever contacted? Oh,that's right,I was unable for over a year to change my email address and your lame ass never contacted me. Talk about an inability to communicate! And you have the nerve to give me f**king attitude? And then,when you finally fix my email address, you fire me from your poorly paying website? Go pack sand up your ass,dildo face!

Hey Davey, if my writing was not up to your lofty standards why did you praise my article about Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton saying it" stood out for it's strong opinion and quality writing". Oh, and here's another example: you stated(your words,not mine) about my review of PIRATES 3: STAGNETTI'S REVENGE " :" Joe Vannicola gave a PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN-themed skin flick the Ebert treatment with a well written review". So now my writing sucks. No, my writing sucks because I had the nerve to ask you about payment for my articles,you smug,smarmy asshole of the highest order.

And as for his staff having to correct my supposedly bad grammar, my introductions to part one and part two of my interview with actor Dan Butler were rewritten with no explanation as to the reason why. I've never had anything else rewritten in all the time I've been with Digital Journal, so why all of the sudden was there a problem? What say you, Davey boy?

I noticed when you sent me a "you're fired" email, you made sure I couldn't reply back to you. What the matter, Davey? Are you such a gutless,yellow little coward you were afraid of what I'd say? Or that it might hurt your tender feelings? Maybe you're afraid I'll drive up to Canada and stick my foot so far up your candy ass that when you open your mouth my shoe falls out? Nah,your mangy assed,pompous self isn't worth the effort. However,if this is true you should buy yourself a pair of balls for Christmas. Or in your case, Hanuka. You should even think about going back to school to learn how to properly communicate with people. And one more thing David Siverberg, you suck!


Addendum: I just had a thought. Since Digital Journal is on Face Book, shouldn't it be renamed Dildo Face Book in honor of David"Dildo Face"Silverberg.? I think it's a keeper.lol

Bill George: Red Hot Planet And Beyond. Part III.

After spending two years working on his web site Red Hot Planet, Bill George simply ended it without any sort of explanation. Which was unfathomable to my mind because of all the time and money George lavished on a project he truly believed would bring him the money and the fame he's been chasing in vain for over thirty years. The main disappointment for me was that the money I supposed to receive for my hard work was never to find it's way into my bank account.

Now, you're probably asking yourself, "Why did Bill shelve this potentially successful website all of the sudden?" My explanation is blunt and to the point: Bill George became bored with Red Hot Planet and shoved it aside in order to pursue another pipe dream, um, I mean project. This has been a pattern for as long as I've know the putz: start something, grow tired of it and move on.

The arm chair psychologist in me thinks that deep down, George is afraid of success and when something he's involved in starts to gel or come to fruition, he quickly drops it and then develops something new to devote his money and energy on until the new project looks like it'll become successful; then the vicious cycle repeats itself. Or to be succinct: George does everything half assed because he's a half assed excuse for a human being. Oh well, I think it's as good an explanation as any.

Bill Georges next great idea was to publish a magazine which combined sports and women called Baltimore Flavor Magazine. First flaw: Bill George is one the least likely people you'll ever meet to be involved in any sport. Unless sitting at a computer for hours on end ever becomes one, then he 'll be able to enter The National Nerd Olympics. George can't even muster up enough physical energy to mow his own lawn; he hires someone else to do it for him. What a lazy f**k!

Yet, he felt eminently qualified to publish a sports magazine. Okay then. Whatever. Now here comes another fly into the ointment: the women interviewed and featured in Baltimore Flavor were currently starring in an up and coming low budget horror films. One issue(there were three in total)had an article on two bit filmmaker Rolfe Kanefsky and even had a two page pictorial of Kanefsky looking very much the director on the set of his latest tinker toy epic. Now, why would anyone with a tinge of common sense publish a two page photo of an overweight director wearing a baseball cap in a sports and women magazine? Now it had morphed into a sports, women and horror movie magazine.

When I did my interviews, Bill insisted I ask each actress what her favorite sport was in order to justify her inclusion in a sports magazine. I liken it to publishing a magazine about cats and then interviewing monster truck owners while during the interview asking them if they owned a cat. George sincerely believed such editorial decisions would insure that his wonderful magazine flew off the shelves . The only way that would ever happen is if the magazine stand is outdoors and gets broadsided by a wind storm.

Welcome to Bill George's special little world, a place where his ideas are so original, so radically unique that everyone will excitedly jump on his latest bandwagon and embrace his dream without hesitation. This is how egotistical and arrogant the prick is; you'll love his idea because he thought of it.

Now here's the topper: He decided to distribute the first issue gratis without advertising. What? How was he going to make any money on this venture? This is where George's peculiar brand of logic comes into play; the following issues would contain ads and then the reader would be charged. As you can see, George thought his latest brainstorm, more like a light drizzle if you ask me,was going to be highly profitable.

Well, the second and the third issue had no advertising either and for reason unknown, all three issues, contained in large boxes, ended up in his basement undistributed . Now if you do the math, each run of the magazine costs about five grand. So, George has approximately $15,000 worth of paper rotting in some dank corner not generating any money. Great business acumen, huh? Don't expect to see his picture on the cover of Entrepreneur magazine anytime in the near future, or ever for that matter.

However, all is not lost; if George ever runs out of toilet paper, he has boxes of it in his basement and it's called Baltimore Flavor Magazine. It's expensive toilet paper to be sure, but at least it'll end up serving some useful purpose.

To be continued....the final installment.(Whew)

Bill George: Red Hot Planet And Beyond.

There comes a time when you have to cut a so called friend loose. Especially one who lies to your face constantly and yet,when you later confront him with the the truth, thinks this particular trait makes him cute and endearing; part of his charm. The kind of person who'll stick a knife in your back and then justify his actions without conscience.


I'm talking about Bill George, a world class liar who presents himself to the world at large as a successful writer and agent. In reality, he is dreamer and a loser whose grandiose ideas have a way of ending up as permanent residents on the Boulevard of Broken Dreams. And George has been dancing this fandango of failure for over thirty years while I've occupied a front row seat, witnessing his various schemes and endeavors eventually crash down around him . Ignoring the previous train wreck, and not learning a damn thing from it, he simply picks himself up, dusts himself off and it's on to the next big idea.

But no matter how many failed ventures George has involved himself in, he keeps pushing on hoping that one of his starry eyed dreams comes to fruition and makes him both rich and successful. Unfortunately, he is neither. He lives in a modest home left to him by his parents and,seeing as how he doesn't hold down a full time job, probably lives off of money that he inherited. His mother once told me," He has stars in his eyes." While I'm sure there have been those in his life who have attempted to bring Little Billy back down to earth, he sees things as he wants to see them; not as they are. George is like the eponymous character in The Beatles song Nowhere Man,only he's despicable rather than pitiable.

When I first met George over thirty years ago, at first glance I was impressed as I overheard him on the telephone discussing various film and book deals with supposed movers and shakers in the entertainment industry. Eventually, I came to discover George made these Pie In The Sky deals with people of his similar ilk; fellow dreamers who talked big, but couldn't deliver;much like George himself. Hell,they couldn't deliver a quart of milk if they owned a dairy truck.

Now to be fair, George actually is an agent. However, he's not as well connected in the film industry or as high powered as he presents himself to his clients who just happen to be young, pretty women with little or no acting experience what so ever. George is in reality a bottom feeder;a tiny,microscopic,insignificant amoeba who'll get his trusting clients parts in micro budget,straight to video turd fests that will do zip,zilch nada,squat for their careers. After these poor schmoes figure out this little fact of life, they kick George to the curb. Unfazed, he simply goes out and finds some other starry eyed dreamer who'll buy his line of bullshit hook, line and sinker.

When I punt kicked this sleazy, smarmy little dick out of my life in 1993 after hanging me out to dry(I had written an article for a French magazine and never received payment for it)I had no intention of ever seeing him again. However, my mother died in 1999 and when I found out that George's mother had died a few years later, I empathised with the emotions he was going through and feeling that my friend needed me, I reconnected with him. I found out, much to my eventual disappointment, that George remained a backstabbing,lying,scheming creep who hadn't changed one iota. He was still smarming and sleazing his way through life,using people in order to achieve his grand and lofty dreams of fame and fortune.

The ironic thing is, George once complained to me that he was losing his friends and couldn't fathom the reason for their departure. Surely it can't be anything he's done. He's so honest, dependable and truthful. Yeah, and I just won the Powerball! If integrity was money, George wouldn't have enough to buy a gumball.

In 2004, I began working on Bill George's web site Red Hot Planet. And so began two years of being rewritten without my permission, having to fight George tooth and nail to leave my articles alone,being promised payment for my work and yet not seeing one damn penny, in addition to other equally shitty deals that went down during that period. All engineered by that ego maniacal piece of shit Bill George.


To be continued.....