Saddam Hussein Is Dead. Is Anybody Out There Sorry?

The madman Saddam Hussein is dead. Yes, this iron fisted dictator received his just desserts when a few days ago he was hung by the neck for the genocide of 180,000 Iraqi Kurds. He was also responsible for exterminating 150 Shite Muslims. Hussein looked a blind eye when his two psychotic sons captured women off the streets and raped them as a twisted way of getting kicks. Hussein was ruthless. He was an evil man. There was no humanity inside of him whatsoever.

I realize his followers will make a martyr out of him. These blockheads, through warped logic and brainwashed thinking, will remember this despicable imitation of a human being as a their brave and noble leader. Well let 'em have their illusions. When all is said and done, history will tell the real story of Saddam Husein and that's all that matters in the grand scheme of things.

Now to go after Osama Bin Laden and assassinate him. It's a sad fact to admit this, but only through force and only through the death of Bin Laden can we show the al-Quada just how serious we are in trying to stop them . The only language that group of terrorists understands is fear. And if that's what it takes to cease the killings of innocent people and the destruction of cities; then so be it.

My Tribute to James Brown.

THE GODFATHER OF SOUL GIVING 

HIS AUDIENCE EVERYTHING'S HE'S GOT.

In the world of entertainment, certain words are usually bandied about when describing an entertainer. The music industry uses terms such as genius, icon and innovator with such frequency that these very words lose some of their impact as well as their meaning. However, those three words aptly describe the late James Brown. James Brown died early Christmas morning of congestive heart failure and the world of music lost one of it's giants.

Whether it's soul, R&B, rap or hip hop; all of these musical genres owes a huge debt to Brown because he was an innovator. As the Godfather of Soul, Brown definitely has earned the mantle of icon. For fifty years, he has shaped the musical landscape, even if the soul, rap, R&B and hip hop genre isn't your particular cup of musical tea. And although the word" genius" is casually tossed about whenever music critics are at a loss for the right acolade to describe a singer or musician , all one has to do is examine the man's body of work to see how the appellation fits Brown like a glove.

I must confess that as a teenager I didn't particularly care for James Browns music. I was grooving to the sounds of The Beatles, Iron Butterfly, Uriah Heap and other rock and roll bands. His brand of music didn't move me in the slightest. Then in 1973 at the age of eighteen, I witnessed a revelation . A movie called THE TA.M.I SHOW appeared on late night television and as I watched Brown performing a song called "Please. Please. Please.", his prowess as a performer almost knocked me out of my chair. His vocal style. His dance moves. When Brown had finished the song, I had a new found respect for both the man and his music. That night I realized why James Brown was called The Hardest Working Man In Show Business.

Now, after almost fifty years of wowing audiences the world over, James Brown, The Godfather of Soul will now go on to his final reward, while his legacy remains with us for generations to come. He shall now take his rightful place as one of music's Immortal Legends.

Something I Just Have To Get Off My Chest.

Recently, I changed to Blogger Beta. I didn't want to change because I'm from the school that says: If it ain't broke, don't fix it. I was informed however, that everyone on Blogger would eventually be switched. Reluctantly, I made the change and was immediately sorry I did.

I had chosen, like before, to not have the div breaks when I wrote my blog. It's something I prefer to do myself(am I a hands on guy or what?). Well, the result was all of my previous blogs looked like one giant run on sentence without any paragraphs. To my mind, this makes me look like someone who is unable to craft a paragraph which is far from the truth.

And in the case of my piece on bottom feeder lawyer Lynne Stewart, the first sentence was way up top, while the rest of my article was shoved to the bottom. I'm going to try to fix this, although it doesn't look as if I'll be able to. The point is, I'm sorry for the mess and will make damn good and sure this does not happen again because I endeavor to make my blog look as professional as possible. You know, sometimes change really sucks.

My Thoughts on The Abortion Issue.

Abortion. Now, there's a hot button topic to bring up if ever there was one. When I told a friend of mine that I would be writing about this controversial subject on my blog, he gave me a thoughtful glance and said," Joe, you're going to open up a big can of worms on this one. I can tell you that right now". But this is one subject I' ve been mulling over for quite some time and I feel now is the time to speak my piece. And I fully realize I won't be the darling of either the conservatives or the religious right. But I could give two hoots in hell.

Here's the deal: I don't think the church or the state has any right what so ever to dictate to a women what she should do when it comes to her body. You see it all the time, tv news footage of protesters throwing themselves in the way of women as they attempt to enter abortion clinics. As far as they're concerned, the pregnant women has to carry the child to term and then has to give birth. If the anti-abortionists can manage to sway any women from the idea of ending her pregnancy, they've won a moral victory in their tiny, little minds.

However, they won't be the ones to suffer from morning sickness, they won't see the stretch marks on their bodies, suffer through nine months of pregnancy(something I 'd love to see a man go through) and then finally give birth. This particular phase of the child bearing experience can last for many agonizing hours. So after all is said and done, the only chore the right to life group has is to smile in smug, self righteous satisfaction. Their job is done. However, for the women who just delivered her new born baby; her job is just beginning.

Now,I'm not pro abortion. I'm not advocating that all women go out and murder their unborn children. What I'am saying is, if a women gets pregnant and for whatever her motives are, doesn't wish to carry the fetus to full term, the decision is hers . It's not for the state decide and it's surely not the church. I have to tell you, it really rankles me to no end when conservative Christian right to life groups feel the women owes it to them to have the baby that is inside of her body in order to give them that warm and fuzzy feeling they get whenever someone falls in line with their way of thinking. The way I see it, if the women can square it with her conscience and feel perfectly justified in getting the abortion, it's her call; no one else's. No matter what you or I think is right.

Yet,there are legitimate reasons for aborting a pregnancy. My mother had been stricken with a paralyzing stroke in the mid 1960's. A year later, she became pregnant. Mother was told by her doctor that as a result of the stroke she had suffered, her body was still recuperating. The prognosis was if she gave birth to her baby, she would die. My mother had to make an extremely difficult decision, abort her unborn baby or face her own mortality. This is not a choice that can be easily made. Her dilemma was made even more difficult by a well meaning, but idiotic priest who told my mother she should have the child and die so that she would go to heaven. Stupid jerk! You call that a choice? She wanted the child to live, yet she didn't want to die either. My mother was between a rock and a hard place, that was for sure.

Let's add into the mix the sad fact that no one, and I mean not one person from either side of my miserable excuse for a family came to our aid during this time of crisis. If my mother had died giving birth, my dad would have had three children to take care of without anyone's assistance. The fact that chafes me the most is, those same relatives who were conspicuous by their absence were more than happy to come around and visit us the very minute my mothers health improved. In the end, she chose to abort the baby, although it was a choice that caused her many bouts of grief and guilt for many years to come.

On the other side of the coin, there happen to be equally frivolous and capricious justifications for ending a pregnancy too. In 1986 I was the manager of a GNC store located in Wilmington. It was there I had the misfortune of meeting Gina and Lori, two of the nastiest people it's been my displeasure to ever make the acquaintance of. Especially Gina, who was an abrasive, in your face individual. Lori's function appeared to be as her sidekick. Many was the time I was thankful when they left my store to go torment somebody else. I needed their particular brand of horseshit like I needed a sack of rusty door knobs.

One Friday as I was closing up the store to go home, the terrible twosome came in to tell me that Gina was pregnant and that her deadbeat boyfriend was currently serving five years in jail for armed robbery (He was a real catch, eh?) and that she would be getting an abortion on Sunday at the local abortion clinic. I didn't want to know any more. I really didn't. However, my curiosity got the better of me. So I inquired as to the reason for getting rid of her unborn child. Gina's response was that a baby was too much of a responsibility and would put a crimp in her social life.

Now, I should've known better, but again, I broached the question of what would her boyfriend think? After all, he was the baby's father. Gina contemptuously replied that he was a first class loser and she didn't give a shit what he thought anyway( is that love or what?).

Anyway, that Monday morning when Gina and Lori came barreling into my store the first words out of Gina's uncouth mouth were," Well, I finally got that piano off my back!" If you're shocked upon reading her ghastly, ugly comment, you can well imagine my reaction not only hearing the words but seeing an expression on her face of someone who just didn't care. This was followed by a series of tasteless and horribly unfunny jokes about abortion which thankfully I've permanently blocked from my memory. All I remember is wishing the two of them would just go away and never darken my store again. That someone could actually equate a human life with an inanimate musical instrument was something that I clearly found incomprehensible to my way of thinking. But again, this was Gina's choice to make. Not mine. And certainly not yours.

At the end of the day, when the votes are tallied up, a women's body belongs to her. Let her make whatever choice she sees fit to decide upon. Let her also live with the long range consequences as well. Whether we agree with her decision or not should never even enter into the equation.

A Word About Today's Cutting Edge Comedian's

Is it just me or do most of today's new comedians rely on swearing like drunken sailors as a way for getting laughs? Now, I'm no prude;I enjoy listening to George Carlin, Richard Pryor and similar comedians who occasionally drop the F bomb. But with today's comics, the majority of their routines are crammed with vulgar,course language. It's as if the use of foul language nowadays is the routine itself.

One time while I was listening to Comcast Rhapsody Radio, there was a female comedian who dropped the F bomb( as well as the MF bomb) a number of times. I remember thinking," Is this really necessary? " I know if I ever see her name again in the "now playing" window, I'll immediately switch to another performer. She's simply too crude, too base and much too reliant on toilet humor for my tastes. Oh,I also don't think she's very funny either. However, if your idea of gut busting comedy is someone swearing endlessly; then she's the comedian for you. But not for me.

Now you're probably thinking," I bet Joe wouldn't mind if the comedian using vulgar language was a man." You know, the old double standard. Well you couldn't be more wrong. I don't care if the comic is a man or a woman; a comedy routine that relys on a stream of swear words to get laughs becomes tedious after a while, it's as if they have nothing funny to say, so vulgarity is used in place of actual wit.

Hell, it's even in video games you can download online. My friend Larry and I were in the computer room in his house while my 14 year old nephew Joe was there downloading a video game on his computer. As Larry and I were talking we heard a gruff military voice bark," Are you ready, motherf***er?" He quickly turned to his son saying," Joseph, turn it off." Larry and I couldn't believe a video game contained that kind of language. Especially a game young kids can gain access to.

Look, I employ swear words into my vocabulary at times. I'd be kidding you(and myself) if I said otherwise. But if I did that all the time nonstop , I would wonder, really wonder, about my intelligence. And while some people see the use of foul language as just words, in reality it's a lazy, easy way to communicate. It takes no effort to blurt out offensive four letter words. Maybe today's new breed of comics should go back to the old school of comedy which chooses substance over shock value.

Don't get me wrong, shock value can be funny. But used over and over again,the audience becomes inured to this and the comedian has to seek out new ways to shock and offend them. It's known as pushing the envelope. However, don't you think that these days we've pushed the envelope far enough?

O.J Simpson Fumbles The Ball- And It Couldn't Happen to A Nicer Guy

Ten and a half years ago, a murderer was found not guilty. Oh, almost anyone with an once of common sense or an ability for deductive reasoning knew deep in their hearts that O.J. Simpson killed his ex-wife Nicole and her companion Ron Goldman in a fit
of jealous rage. The verdict split people into factions; there were African-Americans who thought he was guilty, but were felt it was justice that a guilty black man was let go in return for the many other innocent black men who had been unjustly sent to jail. While many white Americans were appalled that a murderer avoided life in prison and believed it was on account of Simpson's reputation as a former gridiron superstar that paved the way for his acquittal.

I clearly remember that day. I was working as a telemarketer and as Simpson's verdict was pronounced, the entire office went off the phones to listen. When he was pronounced not guilty, one of my co-workers, Christine, let out a big cheer; the way one cheers for the victory of a close friend. The problem was, she didn't know Simpson personally. Christine was simply happy that an African-American like herself had beaten the rap and was now free. I've often wondered how she would have felt if it was her own sister who had been savagely knifed to death by Simpson. And not her "soul sister" either, but her flesh and blood sibling. Would Christine have felt the same sense of elation if her sister's killer was pronounced "not guilty"?

Since then,Simpson(who has proclaimed his innocence) made a vow to devoted his time and energy tracking down the real murderers of Nicole Simpson and Ron Goldman. Well, it's been eleven years and he ain't found 'em yet. I guess he was a far better football player than he is a detective. Oh well, at least he's tried. Not!

The moment that actually brought home to me the fact that Simpson did commit those murders was when he did was interviewed by Ruby Wax on her television show . He came up from behind her and pretended to stab Wax with a banana as he sang the music from the shower scene in PSYCHO. This was followed by the two of them sharing a merry chuckle over his cute little antic. His action was not only a lapse of both taste as well as good judgement on Simpson's part, it amply displayed the actions of a man who was making fun of the fact that he was indeed a murderer who had gotten away with his crime. It was a blatant in-your-face gesture. At one point during the interview, Simpson said if he did kill his ex-wife Nicole it was out of love. Yeah, the jury's in on that one. He's definitely not the killer.

Now, Simpson is making an attempt to enrich his bank account by publishing a book titled ," If I Did It, Here's How It Happened", a hypothetical story of how his ex-wife Nicole Simpson and Ron Goldman would have been killed if Simpson was the murderer. The book was to be published by Regan Books,who (surprise,surprise) is owned by Fox News Corp (some coincidence, eh?). There was also to be a two part TV interview special to coincide with the release of Simpson's book.

However, an outraged public made it's disapproval known. So Rupert Murdoch, chief of Fox News, cancelled both the book and interview special. But, an interesting news items has recently surfaced; it seems Denise Brown,Nicole Simpson's sister, is incensed because Murdoch offered her family( as well as the the Goldman's) "millions of dollars" which she felt was being offered in order to buy their silence. News Corp spokesman Andrew Butcher has denied the allegation that their offer was an attempt to keep both families quiet by saying," There were no strings attached."
He went on to say that the offer was for the families to split the profits from the book and tv deal after the company made back it's investment in the two projects.

In any event, O.J Simpson's book and tv deal had been broadsided by a nauseated public who has grown weary of his often repeated claims of denial in the deaths of his wife Nicole and Ron Goldman,while his actions tell a far different story. Simpson not only has gotten away with murder, the unhappy reality is: he's going to receive a fat pay check even though the two projects will never see the light of day. And you know,it isn't fair.

Michael Richards Kamakazi Comedy Routine, Or How To Destroy A Career In Just Three Minutes.

The dreaded foot in mouth disease strikes again. A few months ago it was Mel (how dry he was) Gibson who spewed a mouthful of anti-Semitic bilge at a cop in an alcohol fueled rage. After justifiably being skewered by the Jewish community as well as the general public at large, Gibson admitted he had a problem with alcohol(does 'ol Mel have a firm grasp of the obvious or what?) and promptly entered a rehab facility.

Now it's Michael Richard's turn to jam his foot into his over sized mouth. Believe it or not,he out did Gibson in the racist epithet hurling department. Last Friday while on stage at the Laugh Factory , Richards was being heckled by Kyle Doss, an African-American. He suddenly became ballistic and screamed at Doss ," Fifty years ago we'd have you hung upside down with a f***ing fork up your ass." Richards then called Doss the N word a number of times as an audience member filmed his vitriolic tirade. Since that night, Richards has been receiving an avalanche of well deserved fallout.

From all of the commentary on the various news and entertainment shows, the Richards incident will undoubtedly make Mel Gibson's racist remarks seem mild in comparison. The tape itself can be viewed on TMZ.Com and I have to tell you, as I watched the footage I wanted to cringe. How those kind of comments can be said in a public place in this day and age is totally beyond me, because behavior such as this will not and cannot be tolerated.

But, it happened and it's the sort of episode that can't just be erased. So now Richards has deservedly had his feet held to the fire and been made completely accountable for the ugly words he shouted in a nightclub full of people expecting to be entertained. Instead, they were repulsed(some even walked out of the club in disgust) by racist slurs uttered by someone who really should have known better.

Despite a sincere, heartfelt apology from a very contrite Richards on The David Letterman Show ; he said via satellite," I'm not a racist. That's what's so insane about this.", forgiveness seems to be very slow in coming. Especially from the African-American community,who have taken extreme offence at Richards ballistic performance and I don't blame them for one second. On that evening his supposed comedy routine was by turns racist, vulgar and most importantly not funny at all. The audience was there to laugh and instead came away from the comedy club disgusted and angry, because his rage was all too real.

Log onto TMZ. com to see the tape; this was not an act. Richards really does have a lot to live down. I don't feel sorry for the man in the least, but I do have compassion for him. All one has to do is look at him when he appeared on Letterman, to see a deeply sorry and truly apologetic man.

The truth of the matter is, the black community may not ever fully except Richards apology because they believe that he was saying what he really felt, that deep down he really is a racist in his heart. Especially after he spat out the N word the first time. Richards didn't stop, but keep screaming the racially changed word over and over during his so called comedy act. Plus, he claimed to have gone back to the Laugh Factory the next night to apologize. But from all accounts none was given. The general consensus is that Richards waited too long to make amends.

Since then, he has hired publicist Howard Rubenstein as a crisis expert(or spin doctor to be exact) in an attempt to salvage his severely damaged career, because there are a lot of people who would get a huge kick out of witnessing Richards do a crash and burn number. These are the very same people, by the way, who once loved him as Kramer on SEINFELD.

Only time will tell if Rubenstein can repair the career train wreck engineered by his client. Sometimes the public forgives and other times they don't. Right now as far as Richards is concerned, whose career at this moment is hardly red hot, time is a commodity he can well afford.

Saddam Hussein Senteced To Hang. Any Questions?

Last Sunday, November 5, was a good day for me. The sun was shining, the weather was windy , but not too cold, I enjoyed a nice cigar on my way to work and Saddam Hussein(or as some wags refer to him : So Damn Insane) was sentenced to be hung for the crime of murder against 150 Shiite Muslims. Knowing that mass murdering, deposed despot will be soon swinging from the end of a rope appealed to my sense of justice.

As his sentence was announced, Insane Hussein shouted such catchy phrases as," God is greatest" and the ever popular," Long live the Iraqi people!" It appears that his ilk truly believes that as long as they proclaim their supposed devotion to God, killing in his name is an act The Almighty would completely approve of. What these zealots lack in common sense they more than make up for in animalistic savagery.

So here we are, pleased as punch that this barbarian will be getting his neck stretched when all of the sudden a fly finds it's way into the ointment. Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak came out with a statement on Thursday that he was against Hussein being hung because it could make Iraq explode into more violence. Mubarak was quoted as saying," Carrying out this verdict will explode violence like waterfalls in Iraq." Uh huh. I see. Maybe they should simply slap Hussein on the back as they let him out of prison with the admonishment," Now you've been a bad boy Saddam, old buddy. You just make sure don't do it again. Okey?" And I'm sure. I mean, really sure. As sure as I'm sitting here writing this, that he'll flash them his most winning smile and sincerely reply," I'll be a good boy from now. I promise." That should do the trick. That is, of course, providing you're a permanent resident of Fantasy
Land.

Hussein will be separately tried for the genocide of 180,000 Iraqi Kurds in the 1980's. This soul less monster should be spared the death penalty? Please, cut me a break! This is the same wretched excuse for a leader who extolled to his followers the idea that they should gladly die for the glory of Iraq and then was found cowering in a hole saying meekly to his captors," I 'am the President of Iraq. I want to make a deal." Huh? Whatever happened to dying for your country? Talk about a clear cut case of do as I say, don't say as I do. And there are people in Iraq who loyally follow this walking mound of jello as if he were God's right hand man. Oh well, there's no accounting for taste.

Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki made the statement," The way I understand the law that we passed...the execution of the sentence should happen within a month,one month. I expect it to happen before the end of the year." Let's hope the Iraqui court doesn't overturn his conviction and instead give Hussein a life sentence. His heinous crimes against humanity demand extreme punishment in the form of death. And the sooner the better. Here's an idea: they should hang Hussein before Christmas. Consider it as a Christmas present to the entire world.

Rush Limbaugh Vs. Michael J. Fox : A Rush To Judgement.

There are probably some of you who read my blog and think," Joe's conservative on a lot of issues. I bet he's a big fan of Rush Limbaugh." Well, you couldn't be more wrong about that . True, I sometimes listen to his radio program while driving around, but let me assure you I'am certainly no dittohead. And while I agree with him on some issues, there are many others where he and I part company.

For example: One time Limbaugh talked about a group of people who were holding a protest. He stated that protesting disrupted the natural order of things(I'm paraphrasing, of course.) and that we should let the elected politicians change that things we don't like about our government. In other words, we should just keep our mouths shut, stay at home and let the politicians work their special magic. It seems Limbaugh has forgotten that America was founded on protest. Our fore fathers didn't sit idly on their hands as the British ran roughshod over this country.

Then there was the time Limbaugh spent many a program bashing President Clinton. If truth be told, I'm not a exactly one of Clinton's biggest fans. But after years of Limbaugh raking him over the coals on a seemingly daily basis, Clinton challenged him to a debate. There are other talk show hosts who would have gladly jumped at the opportunity to go one on one with The President in front of a live audience. I know of one Philadelphia radio talk show host named Irv Homer who would've shown up with his notes in hand ready for a lively debate.

What did Limbaugh do? He made a big joke about it on his show and the matter was quickly dropped. I know of a few people who stopped listening to him after that because they felt Limbaugh was all talk and no action, or as a friend of mine aptly put it," He's just an entertainer." After his constant haranguing about what a lousy job Clinton was doing in the oval office, when push came to shove Limbaugh turned tail and hid in the safety his E.I.B booth,refusing to confront the man he criticized and satirized mercilessly to no end.

Limbaugh reminded me of a kid I knew years ago named Jimmy. For reasons unknown, he harbored an irrational dislike for my friend Paul and told everybody who would listen about what a complete jerk he thought Paul was. After awhile Paul grew damn sick and tired of Jimmy's constant back stabbing. One day, I was at the neighborhood park while Jimmy was doing his anti-Paul shtick when Paul just happened to walk up to him and asked," Do you have a problem with me, dick face?" Jimmy's face took on an expression of total fear, as if the angel of death had suddenly appeared before him.He looked down at his shoes and gulped an almost inaudible," No ." Jimmy suddenly bolted away from Paul with such speed you would have thought a rocket was attached to his ass. Believe it or not, Jimmy never, ever bad mouthed Paul
again.

Recently, actor Michael J. Fox, who suffers from Parkinsons Disease, did a television endorsement for Claire Mc Caskell of Missouri. Mc Caskell, running for the U.S Senate, is a proponent for stem cell research. In the tv ad, Fox is shown displaying the signs of this degenerative disease from which he suffers. It was a powerful case for lifting the government ban on embryonic stem cell research.

Yet on his show, Limbaugh accused Fox of acting for the camera as he imitated the actors symptoms of Parkinsons by shaking spastically for the dittocam in an ill attempt at comedy. After dodging the well deserved brickbats of critics and fans alike, Limbaugh defended himself on his program claiming that certain news shows sped up the tape for the purpose of sensationalism.

Now Rush, that plane doesn't fly. I saw the footage of your spastic movements on a cable news show and it definitely wasn't speeded up. Now, I realize you think that you're smarter than ninety per cent of the people on this planet and that most of us have the mental capacity of an eggplant. But I,like many people, have eyes. I can determine what sped up video looks like; plus when you speed up a video the sound speeds up as well. At no time did your senatorian voice sound as if you'd just inhaled a lungfull of helium.

However,to be fair, Fox did candidly admit in his autobiography that before appearing at a congressional hearing on embryonic stem cell research he didn't take his medication in order to make an impact at the hearing. I've seen him on several talk shows and even when Fox is on the medication, The Parkinsons is still quite visible. But on one program, Fox was interviewed before his medication kicked in and it was painful to watch. And I for one applaud Fox for not hiding from the media making both him as well as his condition visible to the entire world.I can fully undrestand him wanting scientists to find a cure for his affliction, not just for himself but for all of the Parkinsons victims. And that is admirable.

Limbaugh, on the other hand, shot from the hip without first knowing all the facts. But then again, mouthing off is his stock in trade. He's part political pundit and part court jester as well as being judgemental and intolerant of any point of view other than his own carved in stone beliefs. Limbaugh has been lambasted by the media for his statements and justifiably so. He acted like a bull in a china shop, but Limbaugh wants everyone to just let him mouth off as he pleases without any accountability on his part. But from all appearances it's not likely he'll get his wish this time. Sorry Rush.

A Deleted Scene From ET Has Been Uncovered!

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With Halloween just around the corner, I've decided to reveal a never before known secret about a much beloved science-fiction classic. Not many people know this, but prior to the 1982 release of ET : THE EXTRA-TERRESTRIAL, a scene was edited because director Steven Spielberg was concerned that it was way too adult for family audiences. Believe it or not, this one scene threatened the film's PG rating, so Spielberg shrewdly excised some of the footage. Having recently discovered this interesting piece of information, I have opted to reveal what exactly the deleted scene entailed to my readers.

Remember the scene where Elliot, Peter and Gertie were in Elliot's room and Gertie asks if ET is a boy or a girl? Elliot replies," He's a boy" and the subject is dropped. In the unedited version,Elliot's older brother Michael asks," Well then, where's his thing?" ET replies," It's detachable." In the next shot, Elliot is seen examining it when ET shouts," Hey, give it back! You've had it long enough!" ET then asks Elliot," But tell me, is it long enough?"

Obviously, this ventures into adult territory,so as you can see it was a wise move on Spielberg's part to omit this scene and not to compromise a film he intended for the entire family. Reportedly, Spielberg destroyed the existing footage, vowing to never to allow this deleted portion to be viewed by the public at large(that's you in case you're wondering whom I'm referring to), thus tarnishing the films reputation as solid family fare . But it's my opinion that movie goers have a right to know this vital information. Remember, the truth shall set you free! But on the other hand, a good lie can be vastly entertaining too.

My Thoughts On The Death Penalty.

This week two psychopaths were given a well deserved dose of lethal injection after years of appeals . First was religious cult leader Jeffrey Lundgren(aka The Shame of Ohio) who in 1989 casually murdered a family of five followers because he felt they were not enthusiastic enough about his teachings (perhaps they didn't shout hallelujah loudly enough to please him as he spouted his warped religious profundities) .

During his trial, Lundgren unapologetically referred to the murders as "pruning the vineyard". He went on to tell the court (this'll floor you) that God had commanded him, through interpretation of Scriptures,to kill the family. So, in his defense, Lundgren trotted out that tired, old bromide that homicidal maniacs have spouted for decades in order to avoid the death penalty: God made him do it. Uh Huh. Happily, this didn't deter the jury from deciding that Lungren's claim of insanity simply did not cut the mustard and condemned him to lethal injection.

His wife Alice and son Jeffrey,who assisted Reverend Psycho with the murders, were spared the death penalty (how unfortunate) and instead received life sentences. If I had my way, Lundgren would have been strapped into old sparky(with his faithful wife and demented son sitting on his lap) and fed thousands of volts of electricity. No peaceful death for him, he didn't deserve to be treated with such kindness.

Next, we have the lethal injection of Florida serial killer Danny Harold Rolling, whom in 1990 savagely butchered five female college students. Rollings, of course, blamed his murder spree on abuse he suffered as a child and his treatment in prison. For good measure, he claimed to possess good and bad multiple personalities. Yeah. Right. Sorry Danny, that's fish three days old; I don't buy it.

When asked for a last statement, Rolling treated witnesses and prison officials for two minutes to something that resembled a hymn with the refrain," None greater than thee,O Lord, none greater than thee." I don't know about the rest of you, but right now the tears are welling up in my eyes as I'm writing this. And if you believe that, let me tell you about how I helped my great uncle Thomas Edison invent the light bulb.

As I see it, the fact that these two vermin were finally put out of society's misery is a good thing. I would have been totally pissed off if instead they had been handed down life in prison. Or as I refer to it as : three hots and a cot for life. The thing that really sticks in my craw is it took seventeen years for Lundgren and sixteen years for Rolling before their executed. You can thank the A.C.L.U and other criminal rights activist groups for that . It used to be when a person was convicted of murder, it took several months for them to meet their maker, not years. We used methods such as hanging, the gas chamber and the ever popular electric chair to rid the earth of the murderers in our society.

But somewhere along the line criminal rights groups began rallying around these psychopathic killers by saying that they were people who deserved their rights while the victims of their horrific deeds became merely faceless casualties to be cast aside . Add to the mix years of seemingly endless appeals by their lawyers and the wheels of justice are slowed down to a snails pace. The murderer continues his or her worthless existence while the victims family and friends wait for what must seem like an eternity for justice.

The rallying cry of these groups is the word rehabilitation with a capital R. Just how you go about rehabilitating a psychotic murderer or one who deliberately chooses to kill others as a way to earn a living is something I have difficulty in fathoming. Yet, psychologists for the past fifty years have been researching the psyche of the serial murderer to find out the reasons for their behavior, with the hope that this anti social conduct may be prevented in future generations.

The sad fact is that there will always be those in our society who kill others. I wish a pill could be invented or a psychological treatment program could be implemented that would eradicate the violent and murderous tendencies in human beings. However,those who willingly go down this path should be dealt with harshly and shown the same mercy they afforded to their victims . No lifetime of free room and board, food, medical care and counseling; which in the end becomes a burden on the taxpayer. Premeditated murder shouldn't be rewarded and the murderer be should not be allowed to excuse their actions with convenient finger pointing and cliched rationale("I had a bad childhood","the prison system made me this way"," I grew up in a bad neighborhood", ad nauseam).

We must return to the old fashioned way of shortening the period of time from conviction to execution and return to the gas chamber, the electric chair and the hanging gallows as forms of punishment for cold blooded murder. As for the A.C.L.U and all of the other boo hoo hoo for the criminal groups out there, you can all take turns kissing my ass.

Thought For The Week.

Now, I realize that there are those of you out there who are so fed up with partisan politics that you'll choose to stay home instead of going to the polls in November to vote. Hey, I kind of agree with you(remember, I said kind of); one does get weary of Democrats and Republicans bickering like school kids on the play ground. Each side claiming that they hold the answer to America's problems, if only we elect their political party.
This term, each party wants to control The House Majority in Congress. The Republicans are trying to retain their hold on the Congressional House while the Democrats are using every resource they can muster to regain control once again. Their main thrust is blaming President Bush for all of America's current ills . Quite frankly, their anti-Bush campaign is becoming repetitive as well as painfully tiresome. Can't they be more inventive?
These days Bush bashing is no only an easy campaign platform for them,but totally expected if one aspires to be a true Democrat. Then again, a few years back the Republicans did attack former President Clinton rather vigorously(although that time the attack was warranted, if I may say so.).
But getting back to what I was saying, each party points the finger at the other one during times of turmoil. When a recession is bad, one party blames the other party's ineptitude .When times are prosperous, the party in charge claims they're the reason for the prosperity. As the saying goes: success has a thousand fathers, but failure is an orphan.
My point is, if you don't like the way Congress is doing it's job then get off your hind rump quarter,(or ass if you will) get into the voting booth and let your voice be heard. Whether you vote Republican or Democrat isn't important(unless of course, if you're the Democratic or Republican candidate running for office,that is). The main thing is to let Congress know your opinion on the issues. However, if you apathetically remain at home believing your one vote doesn't count, then don't come crying to me afterwards about how much the Congress sucks. You had your chance.

To Vote Republican or To Vote Democrat? That Is The Question.

Look people, I know a lot of you are really pissed at the Republican Party at the moment and a lot of this anger stems from the recent Foley scandal. Also add into the mix the war Iraq, which many feel is not worth fighting and President Bush's approval rating has steadily fallen to a disappointing 37 percent. But the main thrust of the American peoples discontent is the Foley debacle that has the mainstream media licking it's chops in anticipation of even more salacious news to come. Sometimes,they remind me of a pack of hungry wolverines hungrily approaching their prey.

In the meantime, the Democrats are currently enjoying a 23 percentage point lead among the voters. But, before the majority of you voters out there begin to arbitrarily leap aboard the Democratic bandwagon in search of change, let's look at some facts: The Democratic Party is well known for their tax and spend proclivities. If the Democrats take over Congress better hold on to your wallet, because this group loves nothing more than to create expensive social programs that don't actually work but gives them that warm, fuzzy feeling of helping their fellow man. This is all at the expense of hardworking Americans like you and me,of course.

The Democrats seem to believe that there is this big, bottomless pot of money where they can obtain as much as is needed for their liberal,do-gooder programs. Well, I'll let you all in on a big secret,(Promise you won't tell anyone. Okay?) there is an endless source of money and it's us the taxpayer. I don't know about the rest of you, but I really don't have a whole hell of a lot of dollars that I can spare right now.

And let me take you back to 1993 for a minute. This was the year the Democrats had control of the Congressional House. They were attempting to push a bill through Congress that was loaded with pork and promised to raise our taxes. On of their more moronic ideas was the invention of Midnight Basketball for the inner cities. You remember Midnight Basketball,don't you? During their participation in this supposedly wholesome sport, the wannabe athletes drank forty ouncers, toked on blunts and someone was shot with a gun at one of the games. It was a shining example of a liberal,do-gooder idea gone terribly wrong.

Anyway, getting back to what I was saying about the bill the Democrats were attempting to get passed; a radio talk show host in my area advised his listeners to call their local Congressman and let it be known they did not want that bill to be passed by Congress. To no ones surprise, it passed through effortlessly. In the next days paper there appeared picture of members of the Democratic Congress with big shit eating grins on their faces; they won all the marbles . The problem was that many of their constituents called their office to ask them not to vote this bill through and were cavalierly ignored. These supposed servants of the people turned their backs on the voters in order to do what they damn well pleased.

To echo the sentiments of Ross Perot (he really did have a couple of good ideas. At least I think he did.), they are our employees. They're supposed to do what we tell them to do, not what they want to do. It's all too apparent many politicians have arrived at the wrongful conclusion that they attended a coronation when it was in reality an election instead.

But go ahead. Vote democratic and watch as our taxes go up and the defense budget goes down.All one had to do is look at the economy to see exactly what the Republican leadership has accomplished. There is no magic involved, just sound economics. By implementing tax cuts and not raising the personal income tax, we have more money to spend which means more goods will be purchased thus allowing our consumer driven economy to thrive. Which in turn means the jobless rate will remain low as well. What it all boils down to is a series checks and balances. A lesson yet to be learned by the tax and spend policies of the Democratic Party.

Pedophile John Mark Carr Is Set Free. Is There Something In The Water In Sonoma County?

I don't believe it. John Mark Carr, that dirty slime bucket, sleazy pedophile and all around repellent sack of shit has had all of the child pornography charges against him dropped. The Sonoma County Courthouse released Carr because the prosecutors misplaced his computer on which contained evidence of child pornography.Nor will he be registered as a sex offender either according to news reports.

Hey now, let's back this up a bit. It's bad enough that sickomucho was given a get out of jail free card, but to not register him as a sex offender? Hello! Carr is a sex offender.And a pedophile. And a disgusting pervert as well. After the statements he's made to the press and the information obtained by law enforcement, it doesn't exactly paint a flattering portrait of him. Except of course if you're a member of N.A.M.B.L.A (that group of sexual deviants); he's probably their role model and patron saint.

And if that sick, warped excuse for a man thinks for one microsecond that he'll be able to go back to his former career as a teacher, Carr is not only a pervert but totally insane to boot. Unless N.A.M.B.L.A creates their own school(God help us if they do.),Carr has about as much of a chance of resuming his teaching career as a donkey has learning how to play the harmonica. The shame of it all is, he's free. Carr should be watched very carefully before he makes his next move.

Who's The Daddy: Idiocy in The Media.

There definitely has been some very interesting current events that have transpired during this past week. First off, there was the Capitol Hill brouhaha over Republican Rep Mark Foley, whom resigned last Friday when it was uncovered he was sending sexually inappropriate emails to teenage male pages. Foley resigned from his political post,naturally, under a cloud of shame. Yet, a recent article in The Drudge Report has suggested that the incident was a prank concocted by several of the pages. The information somehow fell into the hands of a secret operative in the Democratic Party who in turn gave the information to the press. Rest assured, there will be more coming out on this juicy little story as other information comes to light.

Then we have the situation in Iraq where approximately 700 policemen were pulled out of service when it was found out that these men were linked to death squads. The death squads were responsible for Sunday's massacre where twenty four workers at a frozen food plant were kidnapped and later killed. This band of murdering thugs were also known for snatching Sunnis off the streets and killing them for no reason.

The most tragic event to happen,however was when milk truck driver Charles Carl Roberts barricaded himself in an Amish schoolhouse located in the small town of Nickel Mines, Pa. Roberts brought with him a 9mm semi automatic pistol, twelve gauge shotgun and a rifle; as well as 600 rounds of ammunition. He then wounded five innocent schoolgirls ,killed five others and a teachers aide before committing suicide. It seems he was tormented by the twenty year old memories of molesting his two young relatives. Roberts had left rambling suicide notes in which he declared his anger at God and life. There have even been reports that he had never completely gotten over the death of his baby daughter some years back. This horrible tragedy has shaken an entire community and changed the lives of many forever.

But what news worthy happening has been given tons of coverage by the media and the rapt attention of the public at large? It's the story of Anna Nicole Smith's recent delivery of her baby girl and the two men who claim to be the baby's biological father. It seems that current boyfriend Howard K. Stern(no, not Howard Stern the repulsive shock jock.) and ex-squeeze Larry Birkhead are claiming bragging rights as to which one fathered the child.

Yes, believe it or not,this stupid,trivial and even nonsensical three way soap opera is considered major news. Oh, the other three stories will be covered by the television and the press. But will these important new events be fodder for discussions over the water cooler at work? I don't think so. More than likely the hot topic that'll have tongues wagging will be who is the father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby. And that story my friends will be the one given the lions share of attention by the media at large. It'll surely sell lots of newspapers and keep the great unwashed glued to Entertainment Tonight and other tabloid journalism shows. As for me, I could care less who the father is. I have much more important things to ponder over. And so should you.

President Clinton Pops His Cork On Fox Sunday News.

It was rather amusing to see former President Bill Clinton go ballistic on anchor Chris Wallace during an interview on Fox Sunday News. I personally missed the event(I was at work) but when informed about it by a co-worker, I made it a point to view clips from the show via the internet. And Wallace wasn't being the least bit confrontational or combative while interviewing Clinton. The question that seemed to cause former President Clinton to overreact was when Wallace asked," I understand that hindsight is always 20/20, but the question is,why didn't you connect the dots and put him(Osama Bin -Laden) out of business?" Clinton immediately went on the defensive by saying that his administration did more than President Bush to go after Bin-Laden before the terrorists attacks. Then he called Wallace's question,"a conservative hit job. "

Following the interview, Clinton's aide told the press they felt the question was more of an attack. And on Wednesday, former President Clinton's spokesman Ben Yarrow said," Chris Wallace was clearly carrying the water for Fox" while roundly criticizing the network's supposed " right wing political agenda." Since then, wife Hillary Clinton has gotten into the act tearing into Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, claiming that Rice did not take Osama Bin Laden seriously enough before 9/11.

As you can see,(hell, even a blind man can see this coming from a mile away.)the old political blame game has begun as the Republicans and Democrats take turns pointing the finger at each other. But it's time to face some facts: yes, President Bush was informed in August of 2001 during a daily intelligence briefing that Bin Laden was planning a deadly strike within American borders.

Unfortunately, The C.I.A and The FBI had separate files on several suspected terrorists and for reasons never revealed, neither intelligence organization shared their information with the other; an egregious decision that caused the deaths of innocent people and the destruction of The World Trade Center and The Pentagon. However, placing the blame squarely on the shoulders on President Bush seems to be the new favorite pastime of both the liberals and Democrats as they rally together in an attempt to regain their majority rule in Congress come November.

In the meantime,Former President Clinton has been busy beating his own drum about how during his term in the Oval Office,"We contracted with people to kill him. I got closer to killing him than anybody's got." Sure Mr. President,whatever you say.

Now, while it's true that Clinton was never briefed about threat of Bin-Laden's Al-Queda terrorist group to our country, he did know about The bombings of two U.S embassies in Africa which 224 people were killed and wounded 5,000 ,as well as the attack on the USS Cole that killed 17 sailors. These unprovoked attacks proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that Al-Queda wanted to murder as many American's as they could.

According to a 9/11 Commission report: Despite irrefutable evidence of the threat from Islamic terrorists,there was no National Intelligence Estimate on terrorism (undertaken) between 1995 and 9/11. The report concluded with:Clinton's flaccid response may have led Bin Laden to make the inference that such attacks,at least on the level of the Cole,were risk free.

Bush,however, began taking steps to create a plan with the intent purpose of eliminating the Al-Queda threat to America within three to five years,shortly after stepping into The White House. Even before the August 2001 briefing, it was Bush who ordered the deployment of armed ,unmanned aircraft to kill Osama Bin-Laden and his lieutenants. This decisive act effectively demonstrates Bush's leadership qualities. And also serves to point out the differences between the two men in times of crisis. History will one day bear out the plain fact that George W. Bush is a far superior commander in chief than Bill Clinton,despite what Clinton,wife Hillary, and the rest of the liberal left thinks. Mark my words.

How Far We'll Go for Our Fifteen Minutes of Fame.

It was artist Andy Warhol who once proclaimed,"In the future, everyone will have fifteen minutes of fame." And in this day of hungry media vultures intent on filling tv and newpapers full of wholesale sensationalism, there are those who crave recognition and are more than willing to earn their own fifteen minutes.

You see,we are a culture of celebrity, as well as notoriety . There is the kind of celebrity who becomes a cultural icon, whose fame exceeds their own mortal existence while they live on in the publics consciousness for decades to come. Then there is the disposable celebrity: famous today, forgotten by lunchtime tomorrow. But to many of the unwashed, who live a dull, plodding, day to day , mundane existence; temporary fame can be exhilarating, even if it is brief .

Take The Jerry Springer Show for example, a show which brazenly,yet humorously brags it is the worst show on tv. However, it does serve one function; it gives those people out there who will never amount to a whole hell of a lot their little day in the sun. They can parade their sordid problems in front of the entire nation as Springer's studio audience insults and jeers them for an entire hour. These folks are by turns fat,unattractive,ignorant beyond belief and some of them should even take into consideration paying their local dentist a visit A.S.A.P. They're not just the scrapings from the bottom of the barrel, they're the scrapings of the scrapings, desperate to grab onto their own fifteen minutes of soon to be evaporated fame.

It's losers on parade and we out there in the television viewing audience are voyeurs witnessing these simple saps willingly debase themselves in front of a tv camera just so they can brag to their friends and neighbors," I was on The Jerry Springer Show." While the viewers watching at home point, howl with laughter and say," Hey Harry, check out the assholes."

Sadly enough, I myself have looked through the same slime encrusted window at these shameless exhibitionists from time to time, with equal parts of amazement and total contempt. But hey,they're on national television and after all, this is the ultimate goal for which they allowed themselves to be presented as a laughing stocks wherever The Jerry Springer Show is televised. But when all is said and done, is this really entertainment?

TILL DEATH: An Example of Cynicsm In Our Society.

I was anxiously awaiting the debut of Till Death because of one reason: the return of Brad Garrett who so deftly played the put upon,long suffering Robert in the hit tv series EVERYBODY LOVES RAYMOND. This would surely be a sure-fire hit, especially with the talented Garrett at the helm. So, on September 7, I tuned in expecting to laugh my ass off. Instead,I sat through a mildly amusing show that brought home a most cynical message: Marriage Sucks.

According to the writers,(the husband and wife team of Josh Goldsmith and Cathy Yuspa) marriage is wonderful and romantic in the beginning but after a number of years it curdles like a bottle of old milk. What a wonderful message to convey to today's viewing audience. Not!

That's right, Fox network. For years, ever since MARRIED WITH CHILDREN, you've bombarded your audience with shows that depict the downside of marriage.And while the couples depicted do end up staying together, they are portrayed as unhappy, bitter folks resigned to being shackled to one another until the Angel of Death comes along to release them from their life of total misery.

It's my guess that a television show which portrayed people in a happy, healthy and harmonious union wouldn't reap the barrel of laughs that two people in complete and total misery would provide. Our society has become rather sardonic when it comes to marital relationships and one might say tv is simply mirroring us as we are. If so, it is sad making to think that we view marriage in such a downbeat fashion.

Now, to be fair I thought I'd give the show a second chance. However,I endured approximately five minutes of the Sex for Furniture episode before throwing in the towel and switching the channel. It was unfunny and(once again that word rears it's ugly head) cynical. From all the ads promoting the new series, Fox seems to predict TILL DEATH will be a smash hit. Perhaps. But from where I sit, I don't see it surviving more than one season. If the show winds up lasting for a few seasons or more,it'll prove that cynicism is more prevalent in our culture than it ought to be. And that ain't funny.

A JOE'S EYE VIEW: In Memory of September 11, 2001.

A JOE'S EYE VIEW: In Memory of September 11, 2001.

Photos courtesy of Sara Schwittek. To see more of Sara's
amazing 9/11 photographs, be sure to visit http://www.foureyes.com/towers.

In Memory of September 11, 2001.

Photos By Sara Schwittek






















It's been five years since the Twin Tower suicide bombings and it's still difficult for me to find the right words to articulate my feelings as to the shock, the horror and the sorrow our nation, as well as myself, experienced that day the unthinkable happened: we were attacked on our own soil by foreign terrorists. Following years of relative safety,( Pearl Harbor was the last time an enemy came to our shores with the intent of destroying us.) our country became complacent and all of us were lulled into a false sense of security. All of us deluded ourselves into thinking that America could not be touched, that no foreign enemy would dare bring the war to us.

Then with a snap of a finger, a group of Al-Qaeda towelheads took control of four passenger planes ,two were sent crashing into The Word Trade Center. One of the planes was going to be used to seriously damage The Pentagon, until the passengers of Flight 93 turned the tables on the hijackers and heroically sacrificed their lives by forcing the plane to crash in a deserted field, before it could be used as a tool of destruction. And as all of us watched those terrifying images on television of The Twin Towers becoming engulfed in flames and then crumbling to the ground in a cloud of smoke, every American knew in our collective gut that we weren't impervious to acts of aggression by an enemy outside The United States; we were more venerable than we ever imagined.

But along with the televised and newspaper images of destruction, loss of life and utter devastation there were examples of heroism, sacrifice and a nation coming to the aid of a city in time of need. People from all over the country drove to Ground Zero to let the 9/11 attack survivors know that they were not alone .Those unable to travel to New York donated money,blood and much needed supplies to the firefighters and police officers who were sifting through the rubble. This heinous act of demolishing a city by a bunch of Al-Queda suicide creeps(Their self styled, religion is nothing more than a band of self righteous hate mongers bent on destroying those whose don't share their so called religious beliefs) brought a nation together. For a while most of us(regretfully there were a few less than honorable scoundrels who reared their ugly heads) put aside our personal cares and woes to reach out and offer our assistance.

In other words, America showed what it was made of with the declaration:go ahead you soulless Al-Queda murderers, revel in your destructive, vindictive(and despite your proclamations of your love of God) godless displays of hatred toward us; we'll come back with a vengeance.

Let us never forget September 11, 2001 . Let's show Bin Laden and his gang of Al-Queda towelheads that we weren't beaten by any stretch of the imagination. We made have been wounded but America is still standing giving Bin Laden a collective middle finger.

But let us also not forget the black radio stations who on that day of tragedy told their listening audience to rally to the aid of their Muslim brothers and show support for the terrorists. Every one of those racist radio stations should have had their broadcasting licenses yanked and the stations shut down. The equally racist dj's should have stood trial for treason and then been deported, the A.C.L.U be damned.

We should also remember those idiotic politicians, those political hacks who expressed a desire to provide counseling to the captured terrorists so that they'll see the error of their ways and want to be our friends. They're kidding right? Please tell me they were kidding. If not, every one of those sniveling,spineless, liberal excuses for elected officials who uttered those wishy washy statements should be given the boot by their constituents come re-election time. Let them serve the Al-Queda terrorists tea, cookies and understanding. Not me. The only thing I want give them is a bullet in their heads.

These people are never going to be our friends. We Americans have been offered three choices by the Al-Queda: Join them. Kill them. Be killed. With such a limited menu to choose from you can see there's certainly no room for negotiation, no middle ground. So it's up to us to eliminate these piss poor excuses for human beings starting with the assassination of Osama Bin Laden. He should then be decapitated, his severed head mounted onto a stick and have a parade march through the streets of ground zero displaying the decapitated Bin Laden. I'm one hundred percent sure no one witnessing this event will shed any tears. Oh, and as a finishing touch, video tape the event and then send it to his home country for their viewing displeasure.

When I heard there were lawyers who were actually looking forward to acting as his council in a court of law, my jaw almost hit the floor in disbelief. Someone was actually anticipating defending such a worm infested sack of shit as Bin Laden? Sure,this kind of high profile case would most definitely be a major stepping stone in a defense lawyers career. But defending an evil mass murderer ? How could this person look at themselves in the mirror every morning and not want to vomit profusely?

In any event,we should never forget the victims, the hero's and the day of September 11,2001 which shook our country to it's core. More importantly, it was the day we galvanized as a nation exhibiting to all of the other countries in the world that we as a people stand together in times of crisis.

Vinnie's Pizzaria: Pizza Pies and Mafia Ties.

This is one of those "strange but true" stories. The kind of story if I were to tell someone at a party they would give me a skeptical look and reply ," Com'on Joe, you're bullshitting me." However, I'm being completely honest. Besides,would I lie to you? (Perhaps if it were a matter of national security I might have to. But that's besides the point.)

Anyhoo, this happened in the mid 1980's. I was married at the time and my then wife Bari and myself would take her nieces Sara and Annie to see their father at his pizzeria. He and Bari's sister Sandy had a particularly acrimonious divorce, so the onus of the responsibility to insure that Vinnie saw his daughters rested squarely on Bari and my shoulders. The two girls didn't seem very anxious to visit their Dad, for reasons never spoken, and I always felt as if Bari and I were practically dragging them to his pizza shop kicking and screaming all the way.

The moment the four of us arrived, Vinnie was a charming and gracious host.We always ate for free thus putting Vinnie up a couple of notches in my estimation.(Hey, I'm a guy. Feed me and you pretty much have a friend for life.)He always asked me about my family even though he had never met them. And I must admit he made every effort to close the gap that existed between him and his two daughters, but Sara and Annie were kind of standoffish. This I always attributed to their mother Sandy who would go to great lengths to tear him down as a father whenever she could. I know this for a fact because she went off on a anti-Vinnie harangue one time in my presence. With information I culled from the other family members, Vinnie may have not been a nominee for Husband of The Year,but denigrading him constantly to his daughters was going a tad overboard in my opinion.

During these visits, I couldn't help but notice these well dressed Italian guys in their mid to late twenties who drove up to Vinnies Pizzeria in black Trans Ams wearing open silk shirts and gold necklaces, hanging around as if they owned the place. I naively came to the conclusion these were friends of Vinnie's who came by to just shoot the breeze. In a couple of years though, I would discover a scenario more sinister than I could have ever imagined. The kind of scenario I though was found mainly in books or movies;not in real life.

By 1987 my five year marriage to Bari was over and done with,even though we still dated each other in between relationships with other people.(I know, it sounds totally bizarre. But it worked for us as far as we were concerned.) One day, Bari called me asking if I had read the newspaper.She said if I hadn't to buy one immediately, that I would be shocked when I read it . Damn if she wasn't dead on the money. I about fell on the floor upon reading that Vinnie's Pizzeria was closed because he had been arrested by the police for his involvement with a drug trafficking ring ran by the Mafia.His pizzeria was where the illegal narcotics were being sold from.

In order to spare his precious carcass from serving serious jail time, he turned government informant. This in turn meant Vinnie, his new wife and child had to go into the government witness protection because from that day fore ward he was on the Mafia's hit list for rolling over on them. According to the newspaper article, a couple of days after Vinnie closed his shop, a tough looking man walked into the pool supply store a few doors down from his shop and asked if anyone had seen him. When the manager said that he hadn't,the tough looking man nodded his head and replied," Don't worry. We'll find him."

This was a little hard for me to digest. Vinnie in league with the Mafia? And I mean, I realized he wasn't quite on the up and up. Especially the time he regaled me with stories about him paying off The Board of Health with envelopes containing cash and lunchs on the house. All in exchange for them turning a blind eye and not bothering to inspect his restaurant. As for the reason Vinnie became involved with the Mafia, I never found out the hows or the whys for that matter.

Now, I didn't feel all that sorry for the man. I'm a firm believer that when you make your own bed you have to lay down in it. However, I did feel sorry for his wife and child who due to Vinnie's poor judgement were forced to uproot their lives, have their names changed and live in some undisclosed location far from family and friends unable to ever see them again.

But I felt especially sorry for his daughters Sara and Annie. They not only would reconcile themselves to not having any contact with their father,they had to endure unmerciful teasing from their classmates.For not only was Vinnie a figure of criminal notoriety, according to the newspaper everyone interviewed for the article said they thought Vinnie's Pizzeria served the worst food they ever ate.

As for myself, I remembered the meals I had at Vinnie's as being fairly tasty according to my finely tuned taste buds. But then again, maybe my judgement was clouded because the grub was given to me gratis. At least that's what I think.

The Saga of Lorissa Mc Comas: An Unfit Parent or a Victim of Conservative Justice? Part II

To recap the previous post on adult film actress Lorissa Mc Mcomas: The State of Florida was taking Lorissa to court in order to revoke custody rights of her son Tristan because she was deemed an unfit mother due to her involvement in the adult entertainment industry.

This tragic series of events transpired because of a good Samaritan deed in which Lorissa and her husband let a girl they knew,who was having a rough time, move in with them. The girl in turn tried to blackmail Lorissa about her work in adult entertainment and threatened to have the authorities take her baby away(talk about gratitude). When Lorissa refused to give in to the ungrateful girls demands, the girl returned with four friends and was further threatened with bodily injury if their demands were not met. As soon as Lorissa's husband came home, her former captors called the police on Lorissa and her husband Doug, claiming he had pulled a gun on them for no apparent reason.

Eventually, every one of the blackmailers refused to take a lie detector test, knowing full good and well they'd fail it hands down and the police ended up dropping the charges. But Lorissa's child was still taken from her by Child Protective Services. Lorissa said to me in a voice full of despair and emotion," I would call this a modern day witch hunt. They came and took my baby away, no questions asked . They don't care who's right or who's wrong;they just take
him."

When Lorissa steps into the courtroom in Melbourne, Florida to fight for the right to get her son back, she will not be allowed to speak on her behalf. According to Lorissa,if she says anything other than her name she'll be held in contempt of court and will be put in jail. And to think that all of this brouhaha is based on her former career as an adult entertainer . Lorissa said that she gave up her participation in the adult entertainment world to devote all of her time in raising Tristan ,while vehemently denying ever doing an sort of
porn.

But here's where her story begins to fall apart: despite her protests of never being in films or pictures of a pornographic nature,doesn't film titles such as STRAP ON ADVENTURE, LOVE GAMES and ESP:EXTRA SEXUAL PERCEPTION at least suggest a type of pornography? Also, check out Google and you'll find Lorissa Mc Comas photo sites described as porn. I mean, we can bandy about semantics till the cows come home.However, the definition of the word pornography according to the dictionary is: Pictures, writing or other material that is sexually explicit and sometimes equates sex with power and violence.

Another matter that particularly puzzles me is: with the court hearing which will determine whether Lorissa loses custody of her son Tristan looming over her,why is she reopening her website complete with nude,provocative photos? Lorissa also intends to restart her 1-888 phone line and her production company. Isn't this a self destructive action that'll insure her son will definitely be taken away from her? The problem is that the more you look into Lorissa's terrible ordeal, the more questions that surface instead of answers.

Lorissa claimed that the police in Melbourne go out of their way to harass her and her husband constantly. There was one time according Lorissa, she was given a ticket even though her car was parked in the driveway because the edge of her car stuck out of the sidewalk. When she told the officer giving her the ticket," I think we're going to be moving." The policeman's reply was a rather curt," It's probably a good idea, because nobody here likes your kind. You need to go back to Hollyweird where all the weirdo's are."

Upon contacting The Melbourne Police Department in order to get their side of the story I was informed there were only three incidents. In 2002, Lorissa was in a car accident. In 2004 there was a problem concerning her and some other dancers. Someone they were performing for attacked them so the police were called. In 2005 Lorissa was given a speeding ticket.

What about Lorissa's claims of unending police harassment? If I were a die hard conspiracy theorist, I'd make the case of a massive police cover up; but there is no tangible proof of that. The police records clearly show only three encounters with Lorissa .Unless you want to believe that the police reports were altered in an attempt to hide their unabashed provocation of a person they see as unfit to live in their community. But again, where's the proof that I can present as being iron clad? It's basically a case of her word against the police departments. I guess, when all is said and done, you can believe whom you want to.

I really do wish Lorissa well. When I talked to her, she came across as a sweet, delightful lady. And although I was unable to uncover the ruling of Judge Griesbaum on the day of July 31, it is my sincere hope that Lorissa got rightful custody of her son Tristan. Because is it really the governments right to take away a woman's child based on her profession as long as the child is in no way involved in it? Lorissa said to me that her son was never,ever exposed to her adult entertainment work and she wasn't going to reveal the nature of her profession to him until he reaches the age of eighteen. Should the government have the right to intrude into her life at all? As Lorissa said at one point in the interview," Even if I did hardcore porn, say if I were Jenna Jameson,does that mean I don't have the right to have my baby?"

Just So You'll Know.

For those of you wondering why I didn't continue with my article on actress Lorissa Mc Comas as promised, I was so infuriated upon reading about perverted sleazeboy John Mark Karr being treated like some sort of potentate instead of the sorry sack of worm infested shit he is,well , I was compelled to put my two cents in. But I will definitely conclude my article on Lorissa next week. I have unearthed some interesting information that just might make the wait worthwhile.

And while I have your attention, please feel free to email me or leave your comments about the things I write about. I really want to know your opinions. Unless it's of a negative nature and then you can keep your opinions to yourself. After all, I'm very sensitive and just might crawl into a corner and cry. Naw, just kidding. Comments of all kinds are welcome. Let me know what you think.

Murder Suspect Given Royal Treatment at Tax Payers Expense.

PORTRAIT OF A SCUMBAG.







You know, just when I think that I've seen it all, and believe me I have been witness to a number of strange occurrences in my life; something  weirder and  more bizarre comes along to boggle my mind even further. And the populace of Boulder, Colorado are shaking their collective heads in disbelief as well.

For reasons that make entirely no sense at all, Jon Bennet Ramsey murder suspect John Mark Karr was treated to a business class plane flight from Thailand to Los Angeles at a cost of $2447.00. The bill for Karr's most excellent adventure will more than likely be footed by the citizens of Boulder, who are fuming over this type of expenditure for a suspected child sex abuser and murderer. Especially since at the moment,the city's school funding is being cut. I sincerely hope certain elected officials of that city won't be too hurt or disappointed when shown the door come election time.

 Karr should be shoved into a crate which would then be nailed shut,relegate the wooden box to the baggage area of the airplane and be give him  a packet of saltines and a bottle of water.  All right, to show that I have a heart, bore a few air holes into his crate and give him a magazine to read.Happy now? 

Instead, Karr was treated to a sumptuous meal starting off with a pate appetizer and a green salad with walnut dressing. He then dined on fried king prawns with steamed rice and broccoli. To top off this meal fit for a monarch,dessert consisted of a slice of Valrhona chocolate cake. His choice of liquid refreshments were fine champagne,a French Chardonnay and a cold can of top shelf beer. His hunger appeased from the aforementioned feast,Karr chose to watch THE LAST SAMURAI starring Tom Cruise; remember,the taxpayer is paying the freight for this extravagance.

Now wait a damn minute! Hold the phone! Are we talking about a regular passenger enjoying a business class trip complete with meal and a movie who paid for it themselves using their own hard earned money? Uh,uh. The beneficiary of such luxury is an accused child murderer,pedophile and pervert. Karr is an miserable excuse of a man; a sickening, grotesque imitation of a human being who should have had his sorry ass kicked out the door of the plane the moment the highest altitude was reached.

The actual cost the Boulder, Colorado taxpayer will end up being closer to $10,000, but hey,at least he was caught. According to Commissioner Will Toor," It's a relatively small amount of money. The expenditure of a modest amount of money in bringing a suspect back in this case is not something I would anticipate a lot of people being upset about." Think again,Will. Think again.

The Lorissa Mc Comas Saga : An Unfit Parent or a Victim of Conservative Justice?

This article was to be featured in Baltimore Flavor magazine last month , but the publisher, Bill George, kept putting it on the back burner. He felt that the magazines target audience (ages 18-24) was more prone to reading lighter fare such as articles on roller blading, extreme skate boarding and fluffy interviews with up and coming actresses. Unfortunately Bill,who possesses a press agents mentality, is not one to delve into controversial subjects. But this is a story that must be told because it deals with a double sided issue: should a woman because she works in the adult entertainment industry be declared an unfit parent by the court system?

There are several paradox's to the life and career of Lorissa Mc Comas. She claims to have never done pornography, yet several of her videos have been labeled as softcore porn. Just check out her film credits on the IMDb. You'll find her adult film work interspersed with legitimate films and tv commercials. A Google search reveals Lorissa's name on several porn web sites. Upon investigating these websites,there are pictures of Lorissa touching herself in a provocative manner.But when I presented this information to her during an interview, she steadfastly maintained that this was not pornography. In her words," There is no insertion,no penetration, no real sex act committed. I've never have done sex with a man on tape.Yes, I've done softcore. But I'm not hardcore pornography and I don't do live hardcore pornography from my home." From Lorissa's perspective, she merely works in the adult entertainment industry. But one nagging question that persistently keeps cropping up is: isn't the adult entertainment industry and pornography pretty much one in the same?

So as of July 31, at 8:30 am the fate of Lorissa's parental rights were decided by Judge Greisbaum at the Viera Courthouse in Melborne, Florida. I attempted to contact Judge Greisbaum's office for information on the case,but was told they couldn't say anything about the case due to legal technicalities. A message left on an editor's answering machine of a Melbourne newspaper was never returned. I 'm left with Lorissa's version of the events which have turned her entire life topsy turvey. When I first talked to Lorissa I felt as if she was being the victim of a modern day witch hunt by a morally self righteous government agency. But as I kept listening to the taped conversation, certain things she said that didn't quite fit upon closer examination; there were inconsistencies in her statements. And while I promised Lorissa that this wasn't going be an ambush article presenting her in a bad way, I have to be honest, none the less, and call things the way I see them from the evidence presented to me.

In addition to her battles with the Florida Department of Child Welfare, Lorissa has contracted a crippling disease called RS Dystrophy, affecting her bones and joints to where it's difficult for her to walk. Sometimes she has to rely on a wheelchair to get around. " From my knees down I look like a bumpy mess," Lorissa says with a touch of humor. " But the rest of me still looks great. I can still work, I just have to wear pants now. So basically I won't be doing the nudity I did before. I'll just be doing regular clothed roles. That's all.".

Add to this tragic tale the fact that her brother is dying from AIDS.(At one point during the interview, he mischievously interrupted to say about his sister," So beautiful.")Then on top of all of that, Lorissa's mother died of cancer and her father became so distraught following her death, he committed suicide one night while she was acting in a movie; one wonders how Lorissa can even begin to cope with everything that has been heaped onto her plate.

But like all stories, let's start at the beginning: Lorissa began by modeling for Playboy, thus launching her career in the modeling industry. It was this association with Playboy that helped Lorissa to get a part in the movie SPRING BREAK : SORORITY BABES, which opened a door for her towards a career in acting. With a touch of well deserved pride, Lorissa told me that when she was on the cover of Playboy Book of Lingerie, she was also on the Deans list while attending Miami University.

Another honor bestowed upon Lorissa was being voted in The Top One Thousand Glamour Models of The Twentieth Century. Her name will go down in history as one of the one thousand most glamorous pinup models of all ages ; along with sexual icons such as Marilyn Monroe, Raquel Welch and Bettie Page,to name a few. She used the notoriety of being glamour model as a springboard for acting roles in sexy, low budget thrillers. Lorissa considers her career to be in higher end B movies or even A-ish productions in the motion picture industry. She told me at one point that she'll never do movies like THE BARE WENCH PROJECT anymore.

This was Lorissa's time for her career and personal life to flourish. It seemed as if the world was her oyster. But life, or fate if you will, had other less than pleasant situations in store for her; Lorissa would soon be facing obstacles and challenges that would bring financial problems, a mental breakdown and even cause her a series of physical ailments.

Lorissa moved from Los Angeles to Florida to help care for her mother who was stricken with terminal cancer. As Lorissa said to me," I was in bed with her and she physically died upon me. Which was traumatic enough. I had to go do a movie after her death, a couple of weeks later. When I left to go do the movie, my father blew his brains out. When I came home, my Dad's brains were all over the wall. That was the worst, most tragic loss in my life."

Lorissa then went into a deep depression. Turning into a recluse, she stayed at home, didn't call anybody and went as far as to disconnect the phone so nobody could call her; whether it be for movie roles or anything else for that matter. The trauma of her parents deaths resulted in Lorissa having a nervous breakdown which resulted in her not believing that her parents were really dead,but rather she thought she was on a reality tv show that was being mean to her. Following this incident, Lorissa was placed in the care of a mental hospital for three days.

As for her child Tristan being removed from Lorissa's care by the Child Welfare Department, it was an act of kindness on her part which proved to be her undoing. As the saying goes : No good deed goes unpunished.

It seems that Lorissa let a young girl move in with her and her husband Doug; a girl who had her share of problems which at the time Lorissa knew nothing about. The girl repaid their kindness by attempting to extort two thousand dollars from her, saying that if Lorissa didn't come up with the money she would call the authorities and have Lorissa's baby taken away from her. Naturally, Lorissa refused and then girl's threat escalated to her telling the authorities that Lorissa did porno right in the house with her baby around. One day, the girl returned accompanied by two three hundred pound girls and a male accomplice when Lorissa's husband wasn't there. The wheeelchair bound Lorissa was threatened by one of the three hundred pound girls who grabbed her crutch , stuck it in Lorissa's face and said they'd beat her f***ing ass if she didn't give them the money.

Prior to all of this, Lorissa had been on the phone talking to a long time fan. The fan happened to be listening to the altercation and immediately called the police department. When the police arrived, the two fat girls hid behind the door and promised Lorissa bodily harm if she dared to tell the police anything. Lorissa was so scared she lied to the officer saying there were no problems. After the policeman left the premises, her tormentors said they would leave her alone if she didn't say anything to anybody about the incident. At this juncture, her husband Doug came home. Unbelievably, the girls, who had previously held Lorissa hostage, called the police charging that he threatened their lives with a gun.



TO BE CONTINUED.

Something On My Mind.

Last week at a Jewish Charity event a whacked out loser named Naveed Afzal Haq entered the room using a 13 year old girl as a shield. He then opened fire,using two semi automatic pistols. Five women were wounded and another,Pam Waechter, was killed. Hag, who is a Muslim, said after his arrest,"These are Jews and I'm tired of getting pushed around and our people getting pushed around by the situation in the Middle East."

Haq(or Bald and Ugly as I refer to him), is no more than a spineless, cowardly bastard, a wannabe man with jelly as a backbone for terrorizing a group of women. If he tried that on a room full of men, he probably would have gotten his ass beaten to a pulp or better yet, would have wound up dead. And to use a 13 year old girl as a shield? That is completely and utterly the act of a coward; there are no two ways about it. A family friend told reporters that Haq was a quiet loner with few friends. (Big surprise,huh?)

It's very hard for me to write about this because I cannot even begin to understand hate crimes. And I hope to God never in my lifetime to ever come close to understanding these kinds of deplorable actions. It's totally alien to my way of thinking to rational why some screwed in the head nut case takes it upon his or herself to right a supposed wrong by shooting someone for racial,religious, even political beliefs.

I 've said this before and it looks like I'll say it again, killing never solves an issue. All it does is wreck innocent lives,while giving the murderer his much desired fifteen minutes of fame. (Although I find it more than a little ironic that before entering the King County courtroom, Haq requested through his public defender that he be allowed to personally not attend the hearing or for him not to photographed or video taped. District Judge Barbara L. Linde prudently denied both of Haq's requests.)

From what I've read about Pam Waechter, she was a tireless worker for the Jewish community and was loved by everybody. She deserves to be remembered by those whose lives she so profoundly touched. While on the other hand,Dipshit -- er I mean Haq(no I was right the first time) should be strapped to a gurney and have poison shot through his veins. No lifetime of three hots and a cot for wacko boy.

Now, some of you are thinking," But didn't he just say that killing never solves an issue?" Yes, I did say that. But I was talking about the killing of innocent people, not murderers or the criminally insane who take lives for either unjustifiable or mentally unbalanced reasons. It all boils down to this, there really is a difference between the two . But we'll open that particular can of worms at another time.

My Choice For Asshole of The Week.

Well folks, the votes have been counted,the nominee's were selected and after much deliberation and soul searching I have made my decision. Sure there were quite a few nominee's whose idiotic posturing and infantile antics made my selection a rather tough one to be sure, but one person in particular stood out from all of the others as a shining example of loutish behavior.

And the winner of The Asshole of The Week Award goes to none other than Mel Gibson,who after spending an evening soaking up the sauce at a trendy Malibu restaurant was arrested for speeding. He became belligerent towards the arresting officer and said," The Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world. Are you a Jew?" (Great going, Mel. Now, let's see how far you can stick your foot into your mouth without gagging.)

As expected, the fallout from this scandalous incident has begun to rain down upon poor Mel, and from where I sit it doesn't look pretty. There are those in the media who are of the opinion the repercussions will go beyond legal penalties, that Gibson's career could possibly go into serious meltdown. (By the way,did you get a load of the police mug shot that the AP wire service ran? With that slightly disheveled look and an impish smile,it appears as if he's posing for a recent publicity photo.)

Gibson's anti-Semitic statements have placed further strains between himself and members of the Jewish Community,which began when they felt he portrayed Jews as being responsible for the death of Jesus in his film THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST. And though he has apologized directly to the Jewish Community for his thoughtless remarks, former TV producer Merv Adelson has refused to accept Gibsons mea culpa and had gone as far as to take out an ad in The Los Angles Times to chastise movie studio heads for not strongly condemning him.

Gibson has even entered an out patient program for alcohol abuse as his way of showing atonement. But there are those cynics who believe this is simply Gibson's attempt to save both his ass as well as his career as an actor/director.

If convicted in a court of law, he won't do any jail time; after all it's a first time misdemeanor drunken driving offense. But, in the court of public opinion,the verdict could go either way. After all,we Americans do worship our movie stars; to us, they are our royalty.

As for Hollywood's ultimate decision on the fate of Mel Gibson,well,the jury's still out on that one. As the saying goes:money talks, bullshit walks. In the movie capital of the world, money in the box office takes precedence over bad behavior and anti Semitic comments any day.